Twenty Six

I am now 26 years old...and in my 27th year.

Here's what I learned in my 26th year of living:

1) God loves me, not because I am good, but because I'm His.
2) I am good because I'm His.
3) This life isn't a competition for who needs/uses repentance or the atonement the least...it's not like we'll line up on judgement day and hear, "Okay...whoever used the atonement the least amount gets the best reward."
4) I only really fail when I don't try.
5) I can achieve great things when I put my mind to something.
6) It's crucial to my well-being to set healthy boundaries in every relationship I have.
7) We're all just little kids wandering around this great big world, faced with our own tests and challenges, and God loves us all the same.

Must blog

This Christmas season has been much more about the Savior for me.

Reason #1: The Forgotten Carols. Beautiful. I've grown up with my mom playing the Forgotten Carols while she's cleaning/cooking in the kitchen. But honestly, I never caught the entire story before. Well, during my internship I had the chance to tag along with the cast, hang out with Michael McLean, get free tickets to the show, and help promote the tour. The lead singer of the show, Jordan Bluth, has his own Christmas CD out, and I've been listening to that NON-STOP, especially the Forgotten Carols songs he featured on the album. It's all really helped me focus on the Savior. Honestly...haven't really thought about gifts...lights...decorations...much at all this year. So thankful for the Forgotten Carols music.

Reason #2: Selfless acts of service done on my behalf. About a month ago I discovered a HUGE puddle of antifreeze under my car. Yep...bad leak. I have no money. I was freaking out. A family friend, Jeremy Anderson, fixes cars for a living. I spent Thanksgiving with his family, and he looked at my car that day. He gives me a diagnosis and says, "Bring it by the shop during my lunch hour." Yes, the man fixed my car during his lunch hour and only charged me the cost of the part...no charge for the labor. Can you believe that? I cried. I still tear up just thinking about it.

I have so much gratitude for really good people...and really good music. Happy Christmas!

It's happening

I'm beginning to freak out about my future.

What am I going to do with my life? I've been going to BYU-Idaho for so long. Now I'm graduating. Should I look for a job in my field right away? Should I go to school part time while working? Should I take whatever the heck I can get at the risk of staying in it forever and never going back to school and never accomplishing my dreams? Should I just work for a little bit, then take out loans and go to school full time? I need experience; I do. But my ultimate goal is to get a Doctorate and become a professor. What if I can't find anything in the writing field? Everything wants two or more years of experience. I wish I had connections...someone to stick their foot in the door so I can pop my head in. I need advice, people. Please. Tell me what to do. I need wise, sound advice. I'm freaking out.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to smother my worries with Christmas festivities.
Aunt Nancy, Aunt Annie, Uncle Bob and I all got together the day after Thanksgiving and dipped close to 1,200 home made chocolates. Yes. TWELVE HUNDRED. The following pictures will give you just a glimpse of all we did.




And today, Grandma and I are gettin' our Christmas on by doing a little decorating.

Grandma, winding up her little musical friend.

Makeup-less me, trying to keep it together.

More festivities...and graduation to come. :) Merry Christmas!

Tomorrow

Thanksgiving. I enjoy Thanksgiving. I especially enjoy it at home. My mom, sister, brother and I all go to down town Portland to do a little holiday shopping/celebrating the day BEFORE Thanksgiving (although, last year we did it on the Monday before because that was Kayleen's day off.) We make a whole day out of it, ride the MAX down town, shop, eat, go to a movie...good times.

On Thanksgiving I wake up early and my mom and I participate in the ward Turkey Trot. I love my home ward. Then, I help with whatever isn't finished, family starts coming over, we stuff our faces...then take forever deciding what movie we want to go see as a family. After the movie, we come home for pie.

NOT this year. Tomorrow I'll be spending the morning here in Tooele...by my lonesome. Then, I'll drive an hour and a half to American Fork...the home of some dear family friends, the Andersons. I've never spent Thanksgiving with them before, so this will be a fun treat.

BUT, I miss my family. I wish I was with these people right now...


In the spirit of Thanksgiving, however, I'll say that I am very thankful for extended family and good friends close by to share this holiday with. I'm sure it will be great. AND I get to see my family in less than a month...and I'll be spending LOTS of time with them this winter. :) Happy day of Thanks!

Broken

I have a lot of thoughts swirling around in my mind right now, and I know I won't be able to get them across the way I want. But we all know I like to write and share thoughts...so, sorry if I'm unclear.

We all have things in our lives we're either afraid of, not proud of, wish we could get rid of...whatever. It may be a past sin, mistake, a current and constant weakness, or all of the above. I have mine.

I've been haunted by one or more of these for several years. Over the past year I've made a lot of progress in accepting myself, loving myself, and most importantly learning to trust God's love for me.

But, for some reason, to this exact day, when referring to these weaknesses, memories, mistakes...I act like it's something stuck on me. Something that has made me less of a person...forever.

As I talked with a friend today, I did this...I referred to myself as though I have a defect. Almost before I finished my sentence to the friend, she lovingly said, "Crystal, you're not broken. You need to know you're not broken. So don't act like you are."

Huh. That struck me. So hard that I had nothing left to say. In other words, Christ makes me whole. I'm not broken, and just because of a mistake or two or a million doesn't mean I'm broken. I'll be chewing on this thought for a while.

Internship

I wrote this tag line.

Go buy Alex Boye's Christmas CD. It's rockin'.

Dancing...

With the Stars.

My favorite?


My LEAST favorite (from the very beginning basically)?


This is the first time I've ever watched this show. I'm so addicted to it...this season anyway. I get a high from it. It makes me giddy.

I kind of feel mean about how BADLY I want Brandy to go home. I just don't like watching her. She's using the show to jump start her career again. I suppose that shouldn't matter...she can do whatever she wants. BUUUUT, I love Bristol. Bristol is real. Bristol improves every week, despite how mean the judges are to her. Bristol's partner, Mark, is the nicest, sweetest guy...and had the most work cut out for him when receiving Bristol as a partner. Bristol's the most modest of the females. Despite what people say, Bristol really is a good dancer.

Even though I LOVE Bristol the most...here's how I believe it will, and probably should turn out.

First place: Jennifer Grey


Second place: Kyle Massey


Third place: Bristol Palin


Although...who knows. All the Palin haters could ban together and get rid of Bristol. It's exciting she's made it this far. Oh my word, I'm such a nerd. I LOVE this show! :)