This Is Me: Thoughts from 10,000 feet above ground

The other day, as I was flying to Utah...these thoughts came to my mind. So I wrote them out on a notepad. And here they are on my blog, for all to read.

I'm pretty transparent. I don't know if that's a fault or if that's a strength. But it's who I am. I've always been candid. I say what I feel and desire others to do the same. I'm trusting. And I'm honestly more surprised, shocked and stupefied than anything when I realize I've been judged for being honest and sincere.

My transparency might make some uncomfortable. Maybe embarrassed. Like when I openly admit my weaknesses and faults to the masses. I accept them as part of what is helping me become God-like. I was placed on this earth to learn to overcome my natural man, and to help others in that process as well. How am I to do either of those things if I try to pretend or act like I have nothing to overcome? That's just silly. I'd have no need for Jesus Christ. I'd have no need to even be here on earth. And how am I expected to help others through the journey if I'm portraying myself as a perfect individual? No one would trust me. No one would feel comfortable around me. No one would really believe my testimony...of the Atonement, salvation, the love of God.

I do believe in constantly trying to better myself. Again, that's what this life is for. To prepare to meet God...overcome sin, to feel comfortable in His presence. So, should I embrace my weaknesses as part of me for eternity...things I can never change? Of course not. But if I try to pretend like they do not exist, then I will never actually overcome them. They'll always be there...the part of me I hate, causing anguish and self-hatred when they rear their ugly heads.

So, I am transparent. I allow you to see the good and bad. I admit I have issues, struggles and temptations. I keep my emotions really close to the surface. The consequence of my transparency usually consists of many deep, ever-lasting friendships everywhere I go. It also consists of inner peace and self-awareness. But sometimes, every once in a while...it consists of judgment and meanness. That's okay. The good consequences grossly outweigh the bad. So, I will continue to be transparent. I wouldn't know how to be any other way, even if I tried.