Judging.
We all do it. I've judged people. I'm not proud of it. I try my hardest not to do it. I've been judged by people. It hurts.
The thing is, we just find what we're looking for in people. If we search for the bad, we're going to find the bad. If we search for the good, more often than not, we'll find good. I have a friend who's constantly saying, "You're good." Too often we consider ourselves as bad, or as others bad. We're good. We all have good. The old saying that goes something like, "You can't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes," is really true. In fact, usually when you do walk a mile in someone's shoes, you stop judging that person.
There are a few things about my life that not many people know. If people knew these things about me...who knows. I'd maybe lose a few friends. I know you're thinking, "Right Crystal. Whatever. What could you have possibly done that would make me judge you so harshly?" Well, all I'm saying is, we don't know what people are struggling with. We just don't. And it's just not wise to judge people, especially when we have no clue what they're going through.
Sure, there's always righteous judging. But, I believe that involves more of taking an accurate evaluation of a situation and deciding it's not the right thing for you to do, or be. It doesn't mean to look down upon other people for their actions.
I need to always remember the words I'm typing. So, I'm thankful for Amy Grant's song... I'm constantly listening to her, so I'm hoping I won't forget.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Where has all the empathy gone?
Last semester, in my Media Law and Ethics class, we discussed an intense ethical case. A group I'm a part of decided to use the same case in a presentation we put on today in our case studies class.
I would post the ethical case if I thought any of you actually wanted to read it. But, I'll just sum it up, since I'm sure you don't.
A dentist in Medina, OH has a mental breakdown in public. This took place in the late 80s, 1989 I believe. It's a smallish town that now holds over 75 dentists. Who knows how many dentists had practices in Medina back then.
Anyway, this man has a mental breakdown in public. As part of his mental breakdown he begins stripping in the middle of town. He's not bothering anyone, just walking and removing all of his clothes. Police come to try to escort him away, and he begins to get violent. He eventually bites one of the cops and they have to use an animal shock thingy in order to get him in a car.
The local paper decides to publish this story on the front page along with his name. Is this ethical?
Here are a few points to consider. 1) The dentist was never charged with anything, and newspapers are not supposed to print a name when the person is not charged. 2) Should he be considered a public figure because he's a dentist in a smallish town? 3) Criminal behavior (which it's easily argued that his behavior doesn't fall in the category of criminal behavior) is usually placed in crime briefs somewhere inside the paper.
You can think what you want. I'm not against people having their own opinions. The weird thing to me, however, is that in both classes I seem to be the ONLY person who has the least bit of empathy for the man and his family, and believes it to be dancing on a fine line of ethical values, especially in the "minimizing harm" section of a journalist's code of ethics, to print his name on the front page of the paper. Every single person argued the editor's point of view. He's a public figure. His patients have a right to know. It's a small town and every one's going to know anyway, so it has to be on the front page or people will get mad. It's breaking news. Sure, okay. I understand a few of those points. But no one seems to care what this will do to him, his practice, or his family. Also, who's to say that printing this article will keep his patients safe? Obviously he was taken into custody. He received psychological help (the case brief states this at the end). Why does printing this article on the front page keep anyone more safe than going to a dentist who has a mental disability that doesn't break down in public? This was the dentist's first sign of mental disability. He hadn't had a chance to get on medication or have an evaluation yet. Really, does printing it honestly protect people? Maybe you think so, but I'm skeptical.
Mainly, though, I'm just sad that people don't voice any concern for the man or his family. So many people in my classes said things like, "He chose to do it in a public area." Or, "It happened in a public area so he gave away his rights of privacy." Okay, sure, people can take pictures and do whatever they want when something happens in public. It's legal. But is it ethical? And really, did he CHOOSE to break down in public? No. He did not choose it.
I'm just really surprised at people's lack of empathy. I understand a reporter's job and an editor's job. I don't understand people's lack of empathy. At least show some concern for the individual. Goodness.
I would post the ethical case if I thought any of you actually wanted to read it. But, I'll just sum it up, since I'm sure you don't.
A dentist in Medina, OH has a mental breakdown in public. This took place in the late 80s, 1989 I believe. It's a smallish town that now holds over 75 dentists. Who knows how many dentists had practices in Medina back then.
Anyway, this man has a mental breakdown in public. As part of his mental breakdown he begins stripping in the middle of town. He's not bothering anyone, just walking and removing all of his clothes. Police come to try to escort him away, and he begins to get violent. He eventually bites one of the cops and they have to use an animal shock thingy in order to get him in a car.
The local paper decides to publish this story on the front page along with his name. Is this ethical?
Here are a few points to consider. 1) The dentist was never charged with anything, and newspapers are not supposed to print a name when the person is not charged. 2) Should he be considered a public figure because he's a dentist in a smallish town? 3) Criminal behavior (which it's easily argued that his behavior doesn't fall in the category of criminal behavior) is usually placed in crime briefs somewhere inside the paper.
You can think what you want. I'm not against people having their own opinions. The weird thing to me, however, is that in both classes I seem to be the ONLY person who has the least bit of empathy for the man and his family, and believes it to be dancing on a fine line of ethical values, especially in the "minimizing harm" section of a journalist's code of ethics, to print his name on the front page of the paper. Every single person argued the editor's point of view. He's a public figure. His patients have a right to know. It's a small town and every one's going to know anyway, so it has to be on the front page or people will get mad. It's breaking news. Sure, okay. I understand a few of those points. But no one seems to care what this will do to him, his practice, or his family. Also, who's to say that printing this article will keep his patients safe? Obviously he was taken into custody. He received psychological help (the case brief states this at the end). Why does printing this article on the front page keep anyone more safe than going to a dentist who has a mental disability that doesn't break down in public? This was the dentist's first sign of mental disability. He hadn't had a chance to get on medication or have an evaluation yet. Really, does printing it honestly protect people? Maybe you think so, but I'm skeptical.
Mainly, though, I'm just sad that people don't voice any concern for the man or his family. So many people in my classes said things like, "He chose to do it in a public area." Or, "It happened in a public area so he gave away his rights of privacy." Okay, sure, people can take pictures and do whatever they want when something happens in public. It's legal. But is it ethical? And really, did he CHOOSE to break down in public? No. He did not choose it.
I'm just really surprised at people's lack of empathy. I understand a reporter's job and an editor's job. I don't understand people's lack of empathy. At least show some concern for the individual. Goodness.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
That's not my bag.
We all have our own bag to carry.
Sometimes we may disguise our bag...it may seem pretty on the outside.
Sometimes we say, "To heck with pretending."
But guess what...we each have our own bag. And each bag holds rocks.
Some are big rocks...
Some are a bit smaller...
The point is, we all have a bag, and we all carry some rocks around. Rocks can be anything--stress, worry, fear, heart ache, illness, guilt, trials, just name it, it's a rock.
Well, here's a news flash for everyone. None of us should ever feel responsible for carrying someone else's bag. It's not my problem; it's not your problem. You've got your own bag. And believe me, I know how heavy they can get sometimes.
I can't carry your bag. If I try to carry your bag, it will just way me down. And it will continue to way me down until there's nothing left of me. It will dig into my shoulders, make my feet hurt, discourage me, suck the life and energy out of me, and possibly even kill me, whether physically or even spiritually.
Some of us like to try to hand our bag to others. In fact, I'm sure we've all done this on occasion. We don't want to carry it anymore. And who can blame us? We're tired and weak and we just want to get rid of it. So we try to give it to the closest victim. Often, we give it to a close friend, someone who cares and will mistake the act of helping and supporting for taking our bag from us. There's a difference between helping/supporting someone and carrying a person's bag. Friends are there to walk beside us, to encourage, to tell us that we can either carry the bag, get rid of some of the rocks, or most importantly, they can and hopefully will steer us to the one person who can lighten our load and help carry our bag.
Guess who that one person is. Guess who can lighten the load, take some rocks out, even carry your bag. Can you guess? That's right, Jesus Christ.
I've carried people's bags before. It didn't work. I learned that the hard way. In fact, I'm still learning from past experiences of trying to carry other people's bags. I'm still experiencing some lingering pain, even after handing back their bag.
You can't carry my bag. I can't carry yours. I will no longer try to carry anyone's bag for them. It does a disservice to them, and it does a disservice to me.
I will point them to the source of comfort and relief. And hopefully, others will do the same for me when I'm just too tired and can't hold it anymore.
We all have a bag. Let's allow Jesus Christ to help us with them.
Sometimes we may disguise our bag...it may seem pretty on the outside.
Sometimes we say, "To heck with pretending."
But guess what...we each have our own bag. And each bag holds rocks.
Some are big rocks...
Some are a bit smaller...
The point is, we all have a bag, and we all carry some rocks around. Rocks can be anything--stress, worry, fear, heart ache, illness, guilt, trials, just name it, it's a rock.
Well, here's a news flash for everyone. None of us should ever feel responsible for carrying someone else's bag. It's not my problem; it's not your problem. You've got your own bag. And believe me, I know how heavy they can get sometimes.
I can't carry your bag. If I try to carry your bag, it will just way me down. And it will continue to way me down until there's nothing left of me. It will dig into my shoulders, make my feet hurt, discourage me, suck the life and energy out of me, and possibly even kill me, whether physically or even spiritually.
Some of us like to try to hand our bag to others. In fact, I'm sure we've all done this on occasion. We don't want to carry it anymore. And who can blame us? We're tired and weak and we just want to get rid of it. So we try to give it to the closest victim. Often, we give it to a close friend, someone who cares and will mistake the act of helping and supporting for taking our bag from us. There's a difference between helping/supporting someone and carrying a person's bag. Friends are there to walk beside us, to encourage, to tell us that we can either carry the bag, get rid of some of the rocks, or most importantly, they can and hopefully will steer us to the one person who can lighten our load and help carry our bag.
Guess who that one person is. Guess who can lighten the load, take some rocks out, even carry your bag. Can you guess? That's right, Jesus Christ.
I've carried people's bags before. It didn't work. I learned that the hard way. In fact, I'm still learning from past experiences of trying to carry other people's bags. I'm still experiencing some lingering pain, even after handing back their bag.
You can't carry my bag. I can't carry yours. I will no longer try to carry anyone's bag for them. It does a disservice to them, and it does a disservice to me.
I will point them to the source of comfort and relief. And hopefully, others will do the same for me when I'm just too tired and can't hold it anymore.
We all have a bag. Let's allow Jesus Christ to help us with them.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Music
I appreciate my readers. It always feels good to get a comment. That's why I try to comment on other people's blogs when I feel impressed.
I don't appreciate my readers enough, however, to get rid of my annoying music that automatically blares every time you come to my page. I know...it's rude of me.
The thing is, I like it. And I like the diversity of the songs I choose. I'm completely aware at how obnoxious it is. Why would I think you would want to listen to the music I enjoy? Maybe I'm just conceded like that... :)
Anyway...maybe this is an apology. But it probably isn't, because with an apology change is supposed to occur, and I plan to keep my playlist forever.
I especially feel a little bad for those who detest Adam Lambert. But...what can I say, he's my guilty pleasure. I love him.
The end. :)
I don't appreciate my readers enough, however, to get rid of my annoying music that automatically blares every time you come to my page. I know...it's rude of me.
The thing is, I like it. And I like the diversity of the songs I choose. I'm completely aware at how obnoxious it is. Why would I think you would want to listen to the music I enjoy? Maybe I'm just conceded like that... :)
Anyway...maybe this is an apology. But it probably isn't, because with an apology change is supposed to occur, and I plan to keep my playlist forever.
I especially feel a little bad for those who detest Adam Lambert. But...what can I say, he's my guilty pleasure. I love him.
The end. :)
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Stooopid mistake
I've been trying to get an internship at The Dougy Center. I contacted the director of communications with a simple, yet sophisticated e-mail asking for an opportunity to be an intern. She responded with enthusiasm, asking me, "what types of things are you interested in doing?" It took me a while to respond back, because I've never had to come up with my own job description before. Anyway, I wrote what I thought to be a really nice, professional e-mail. That is...until I sent it and caught the DUMBEST mistake EVER. See if you can find it.
Hi Kassie.
I've been thinking long and hard about the types of things I'm interested in doing. If I were to acquire an intern position at The Dougy Center I could help with or be responsible for anything regarding communications. I would be willing and happy to do anything asked of me.
My specialty is writing. I'm an talented writer and can write/edit any content in grant proposal letters, website pages, newsletters, fliers, and any other written documents. Right now I free lance write and edit for a newsletter in Farmington, Utah put out by a small company called Blue Pebble Press. I've also worked on my college's newspaper staff. I'd be happy to send you a portfolio displaying my abilities.
Although I don't know every aspect of The Dougy Center's communication department and tactics, I do know of some possible areas. I'm experienced in video making. I know how to use Final Cut in creating and editing video. I also know how to create podcasts and am very familiar with blogging. I'm experienced in many computer programs including InDesign, Photoshop and Illustrator, which are all beneficial for ads and fliers. I enjoy talking with and learning about people and would be more than willing to contact individuals or companies, either in person or over the phone, in order to give information about The Dougy Center or seek possible grants and support for the organization.
I would absolutely love the opportunity to intern at The Dougy Center. The Dougy Center played an essential role in my grieving process after my dad passed away. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't had such a great support group as a child. I would love to give back by offering my abilities through an intern position, while also learning from and observing the inner workings of such a successful non-profit organization.
Thanks so much for your consideration.
Crystal Perry
Yes; it's blatantly obvious. Let me explain. I had intended on saying, "I'm an excellent writer...." "Excellent" is the adjective I had originally used, so "an" would be appropriate. After proof reading it a couple times I decided to change "excellent" to "talented." I forgot, however, to change "an" to "a." STOOOOPID. (Okay, I know it's spelled s-t-u-p-i-d. I'm quoting "The Kid." :)) Anyway...I FREAKED out, trying to recall my e-mail, but it didn't work. I decided to e-mail again, telling her I was aware of the mistake. I figured I had nothing to lose and only respect to gain by admitting my error. My mom helped me come to that conclusion as well.
So, long story short...well, not really short, but whatever... She responded with this:
Hi Crystal,
No worries on your type-o. :-)
Will you be in the Portland area anytime soon? I'll talk to the development staff and see what projects they'll have coming up in the fall. Are there school requirements we'd need to fulfill?
Thanks!!
So, I'm a happy camper. :)
Hi Kassie.
I've been thinking long and hard about the types of things I'm interested in doing. If I were to acquire an intern position at The Dougy Center I could help with or be responsible for anything regarding communications. I would be willing and happy to do anything asked of me.
My specialty is writing. I'm an talented writer and can write/edit any content in grant proposal letters, website pages, newsletters, fliers, and any other written documents. Right now I free lance write and edit for a newsletter in Farmington, Utah put out by a small company called Blue Pebble Press. I've also worked on my college's newspaper staff. I'd be happy to send you a portfolio displaying my abilities.
Although I don't know every aspect of The Dougy Center's communication department and tactics, I do know of some possible areas. I'm experienced in video making. I know how to use Final Cut in creating and editing video. I also know how to create podcasts and am very familiar with blogging. I'm experienced in many computer programs including InDesign, Photoshop and Illustrator, which are all beneficial for ads and fliers. I enjoy talking with and learning about people and would be more than willing to contact individuals or companies, either in person or over the phone, in order to give information about The Dougy Center or seek possible grants and support for the organization.
I would absolutely love the opportunity to intern at The Dougy Center. The Dougy Center played an essential role in my grieving process after my dad passed away. I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't had such a great support group as a child. I would love to give back by offering my abilities through an intern position, while also learning from and observing the inner workings of such a successful non-profit organization.
Thanks so much for your consideration.
Crystal Perry
Yes; it's blatantly obvious. Let me explain. I had intended on saying, "I'm an excellent writer...." "Excellent" is the adjective I had originally used, so "an" would be appropriate. After proof reading it a couple times I decided to change "excellent" to "talented." I forgot, however, to change "an" to "a." STOOOOPID. (Okay, I know it's spelled s-t-u-p-i-d. I'm quoting "The Kid." :)) Anyway...I FREAKED out, trying to recall my e-mail, but it didn't work. I decided to e-mail again, telling her I was aware of the mistake. I figured I had nothing to lose and only respect to gain by admitting my error. My mom helped me come to that conclusion as well.
So, long story short...well, not really short, but whatever... She responded with this:
Hi Crystal,
No worries on your type-o. :-)
Will you be in the Portland area anytime soon? I'll talk to the development staff and see what projects they'll have coming up in the fall. Are there school requirements we'd need to fulfill?
Thanks!!
So, I'm a happy camper. :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Studying
I hate it. I absolutely hate it. With a passion. I'm not exaggerating.
I am not a good studier. I don't know how to do it on my own. I get distracted. I can't keep the information in my brain. I try to repeat things back to myself; it just doesn't work. I try writing things out. It still doesn't work. The only time I actually do well on a test is when I study with someone. Usually this process consists of a good friend having enough patience to re-teach me the concepts and then quizzing me on them.
I'm in an intro to advertising class. I swear, this stupid intro class is harder than all my 300 and 400 level classes. There's a test every week. This week we have two. The first test I took I got a D on. Yes, a D. I hardly studied. The second test I got a B only because a good friend who is also in the class took the time to re-teach me the material and quiz me. The third test I actually got an A, go figure. Same procedure as the second one. The fourth one I had to study on my own because Naomi and I couldn't find time to study together. C. What the heck? I even tried hard that time. I'm taking another one today, and again Naomi and I couldn't get our schedules to match up. Good luck to me...not likely I'll do better than a C and I don't have the patience to even study as long as I did last time.
I hate studying. Stupid facts tests...multiple choice tests that you cram the info in your brain long enough to spew it out in 15 minutes in the stupid testing center, and then you forget it all the second you walk out. I really prefer projects, hands on REAL LIFE situations, papers, and presentations. I learn SO MUCH MORE.
When I'm a professor I'm putting my foot down on tests. I'm saying no. And if I have to give them...they're going to be comprehensive, and I'll actually take time to write them, and then I'll go over them with the students and figure out what they've struggled with and allow them to get some credit back when they figure it out. Isn't school about learning? I think teachers should help students learn. I don't care that this is college. Learning is supposed to be taking place. I'm not learning in this class. I will be a professor one day, and I will teach my students. They will learn, and they'll enjoy it. It's possible. I've seen it in action.
I am not a good studier. I don't know how to do it on my own. I get distracted. I can't keep the information in my brain. I try to repeat things back to myself; it just doesn't work. I try writing things out. It still doesn't work. The only time I actually do well on a test is when I study with someone. Usually this process consists of a good friend having enough patience to re-teach me the concepts and then quizzing me on them.
I'm in an intro to advertising class. I swear, this stupid intro class is harder than all my 300 and 400 level classes. There's a test every week. This week we have two. The first test I took I got a D on. Yes, a D. I hardly studied. The second test I got a B only because a good friend who is also in the class took the time to re-teach me the material and quiz me. The third test I actually got an A, go figure. Same procedure as the second one. The fourth one I had to study on my own because Naomi and I couldn't find time to study together. C. What the heck? I even tried hard that time. I'm taking another one today, and again Naomi and I couldn't get our schedules to match up. Good luck to me...not likely I'll do better than a C and I don't have the patience to even study as long as I did last time.
I hate studying. Stupid facts tests...multiple choice tests that you cram the info in your brain long enough to spew it out in 15 minutes in the stupid testing center, and then you forget it all the second you walk out. I really prefer projects, hands on REAL LIFE situations, papers, and presentations. I learn SO MUCH MORE.
When I'm a professor I'm putting my foot down on tests. I'm saying no. And if I have to give them...they're going to be comprehensive, and I'll actually take time to write them, and then I'll go over them with the students and figure out what they've struggled with and allow them to get some credit back when they figure it out. Isn't school about learning? I think teachers should help students learn. I don't care that this is college. Learning is supposed to be taking place. I'm not learning in this class. I will be a professor one day, and I will teach my students. They will learn, and they'll enjoy it. It's possible. I've seen it in action.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Friendship
Can friends last forever?
Honestly. Can they? Really and truly, can friendships remain forever strong through thick and thin? How long do you have to be friends with a person before it's such a strong bond that you know it will last forever? Does the friendship have to go through a lot of history before it can be strong? Or does time have nothing to do with it...it's more the information shared and trust given?
I have so many good friends. Yet, I have so many who are no longer in my life...and I just wonder...what makes someone a life-long friend? Or, a forever friend? What are friends for? Why have friends?
Enlighten me people.
Honestly. Can they? Really and truly, can friendships remain forever strong through thick and thin? How long do you have to be friends with a person before it's such a strong bond that you know it will last forever? Does the friendship have to go through a lot of history before it can be strong? Or does time have nothing to do with it...it's more the information shared and trust given?
I have so many good friends. Yet, I have so many who are no longer in my life...and I just wonder...what makes someone a life-long friend? Or, a forever friend? What are friends for? Why have friends?
Enlighten me people.
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