What's new?

I'm getting a car not long after I arrive in Utah. What car? A 1999 Mercury Sable. Ugly? Yes. A great deal? Yes...$1,800 to $2,000 after it's been fixed up. Great for my first car? Yes. Reliable from a very reliable source? Yes. What will I name it? Willy...as in the whale from "Free Willy."

I'm moving to Utah in one day...road trippin' it. Fun stuff. Gotta love that 12-14 hour drive, depending on who you're driving with. And when you're driving with Chuck, it's usually 14 hours. :) We're leaving at 2:00 a.m. Wednesday morning. It's Monday night right now. Not long. Not long at all.

Colby Smith returned. :) We've talked ever day since he's come home. Exciting? Yes! Tired of writing and talking but not seeing? Yes. Ready to hug him? Yes.

My desire to loose weight has grown sooo much in the past couple of weeks. Colby's return coupled with my sister's wedding has lit a fire under me and I plan on making my life in Utah one full of healthy choices and mucho exercise. Somethin's gotta give.

Why do I cry?

Why do I cry everytime I'm mad?
Why do I cry whenever I feel the Spirit strongly?
Why do I cry when my feelings get hurt?
Why do I cry whenever I watch two people falling in love?
Why do I cry when I think about my mission?
Why do I cry when others are hurting?
Why do I cry when someone with powerful vocal chords is singing...even if the song isn't that special?
Why do I cry when I feel guilty?
Why do I cry when I'm excited?
Why do I cry when I serve or someone serves me?
Why do I cry when I see a brand new baby?
Why do I cry when someone tells me they knew my dad?

I am a very emotional person. Friday, I took the day off of work...both jobs. It was wonderful. During the morning I cleaned the house in preparation for my mom's surprise birthday party. During that process, I think I teared up a couple times just thinking of specific moments in my life. After cleaning, I watched Run Away Bride. Throughout that movie, I cried several times...none of which could really be defined as "sad" moments. But, for some reason, my emotions got the better of me and the story of two people falling in love made me cry. I cry all of the time. No matter what time of the month it is. :) Is that a bad thing? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But it's who I am. I cry in anticipation of Spiritual experiences. I cry in anticipation of special, happy experiences. I cry in anticipation of sad experiences. I don't even have to be experiencing them yet...just the anticipation moves me to tears. WOW. Why am I writing about this? I don't know. It's just been on my mind lately. I'm a very emotional person...a very "feeling" oriented person. And that's ok. And it's ok if people aren't. You don't HAVE to cry to feel the Spirit. In fact, sometimes tears can be misleading. Sometimes it's better not to cry when the Spirit is felt, because it's easy to confuse emotion and the Spirit. It's a good thing when people can express their feelings without getting so heated with tears. People can feel sad and sympathetic without tears. We're all different. We all have special, different, unique qualities. I'm emotional...some people aren't. And thank goodness. That's what makes the world go round.

Just a glimpse

Here are some things rolling around in my brain right now...

So, I'm freakin' in love with this movie. Due to the fact that I have access to an unlimited amount of free movies at the movie theater, I've seen it twice and would probably go a third time if someone would go with me. :) It's so cute, and so me, and leaves me with the happiest of feelings. I hope I get to be a bride one day.


How the heck will I ever make enough to live? Car, food, home, school? Blah.


23 more days until this man comes home. The anticipation is killing me. Will it work...won't it work...how long will it last? I just want to fast forward a few months and know. We've written every week for the past 6 months. I'm beyond excited for his arival. He's the sweetest, tenderest man I've ever met. And no, I'm not just in-like with the missionary. I've seen his weaknesses, his mistakes, his imperfections as he has mine. He was not a perfect missionary. Neither was I. The mission magnifies ALL of a person's imperfections...pretty much for all to see. Yet, he's still the sweetest, tenderest man I've ever met.


Will I find a reliable car in my price range?


I'm pretty much in love with this man and the band he's put together. TALENT. 100%


I miss it...LOTS. I feel like I was a better missionary than I am an every-day person.


I'm a little too obsessed with this show. For my birthday I received all 6 seasons, plus the two made for T.V. movies of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, and I can't get enough of it. I watch it so much that it consumes a good portion of my thoughts during the day.


I need to read this A LOT more. I can literally feel the difference in my attitude and countenance from when I read it regularly to when I don't. Why don't I just do the things I need to without needing a kick in the butt to do it?

There's more...lots lots more...but, the title of this entry was "Just a glimpse" and this is probably more than just a glimpse. So, until next time, there ya go.

Best Friends

I'm thankful for best friends. I don't have just one best friend, so I suppose I shouldn't use the term "best" friend. But, I have been blessed with many close, close friends I consider to be "bests."

One is my old roommate, Rebecca Joy Falke. I love this girl. I just recently found out she is engaged. Rebecca Joy makes me happier whenever I talk to her or spend time with her. She has such a positive outlook on everything about life. She's always optomistic, but knows how to be sympathetic when needed. She has a catching, infectious personality, and anyone who spends time with her can't help but love her. Back in the day when she was man-less and discouraged about it, I told her "Becca, the man who finds you and recognized how amazyingly wonderful you are will realize that he's the luckiest man in the world and won't dare let you go." Well, that man found her. And I was right...he's not letting her go.

Another one is Sundy Lynn. I love my Sundy Lynn. She is my best friend through and through. She pretty much knows me better than anyone. Sometimes it's a little freaky how alike we are. We're definately cut from the same cloth. Or as our grandmother says, we're two peas in a pod. :) I love Sundy Lynn because she knows me and puts up with my weaknesses, is forgiving of my sarcasm and understanding when I'm not always chipper. She knows what I'm feeling before I say it. She knows what my reaction will be to something before I even react. She's always reasuring in times of doubt; she always says the magic words. I'm lucky enough to have a blood bond with this best friend. Our mothers are sisters. :)

I'm blessed enough to have become wonderful friends with the majority of my mission companions. I consider some of these sisters as best friends, because they are people who will always remain dear in my heart. Heather Love Jones showed me the ropes on the mission. She was patient and understanding. When I had a mental and emotional break down, she was there to hug me and post encouraging notes all over the apartment. She made me laugh like crazy and never looked down on crazy, un-realistic ideas I had to baptize all of Mississippi. Tanja Jensen was like a sister...a big sister who looked out for me. We'd stay up talking and laughing, eating green pudding, and sometimes even dancing...(it's like you're rowing a boat, rowing a boat. :)) Whenever I needed to cry, or break down, she'd park the car and listen, never getting upset at me wasting time or having a pitty party. Christina Roach is a tender soul. I loved trying to figure her out. She'd dance in the middle of the streets with random little kids, speak to me in fluent Spanish just to make me giggle, make me fried pancakes in the morning (because she knew I loved them,) share her specially picked out fruit with me at night, and even colored a fuzzy poster with me. We worked hard at our relationship because we respected eachother. I continue to respect and love her. She's so close to the Spirit that you can see light beams shining out of her eyes. Joy Wiechmann taught me humility and forgiveness. She's someone who does not do things for attention. She continues to endure through the toughest of times with a smile on her face. Even after I hurt her, she forgave me through many tears and hugs. She's a close friend that I have a strong bond with. I showed her the ropes of the mission. And she showed me how the Atonement works. Amber Chamberlain and Ashlee Draper are both also really dear to my heart. Amber Chamberlain taught me to lighten up and enjoy the simple things in life. We cracked fallen pecans together, rocked out to Josh Groban together, and built forts in our living room and had sleepovers. She loved me for me...even during the hardest time of my mission when I was the grumpiest. Ashlee Draper helped me feel needed and important. She watched my every move, making me feel special. We chased flying cockroaches around with frying pans, drank "Celestial Juice" together, had living room sleep-overs on the L shaped couch, and ran up and down the flooded streets in the Mississippi rain storms. I'm so thankful for these dear dear friends.

I have many, many more...and I know I have many many more to come in the future. I love friends. I love these angels that Heavenly Father has sent down for me at specific times in my life to help me learn, grow, and enjoy.

Looking back...

The years of 2007 and 2008 were the two most meaningful years of my life. I began my mission in 2007 and ended it in 2008. I miss it and think about those 18 months every single day. The memories well up inside of me until they come out in the form of free flowing tears every so often. The year 2008 was a great one. It began in Hattiesburg, Mississippi with a game of MouseTrap. It ended in Portland, Oregon with a game of Setlers. I witnessed many miracles during the year 2008. I felt the power of forgiveness from someone I had deeply hurt for the first time in my life. I was brought to my knees many, many times in the dinky little bathroom of Meridian, Mississippi where I learned who I truly am and who my Maker truly is. I poored my heart out to many people...some accepting what the Savior has to offer, some not so much. During the year 2008 I witnessed Leah Polanco come unto Christ and complete her family. I witnessed Leann Walden soften her heart and decide to be re-baptized and to bring her 9-year-old son with her. I witnessed Maureen, a poor, broken individual, become rich and whole in the Gospel, where she found love and acceptance. I witnessed a 10-year-old Madelyn wanting to follow the example of her older cousin and be baptized, even though her whole family tempted her with tea and other choices to stop her...yet she overcame. In the year 2008 I was able to teach Frank Golden every single missionary lesson, watch him progress, only to see miss his baptism date, twice. In the year 2008 I also received a phone call...the 25th of December to be exact, informing me that Frank Golden had finally followed the promptings of the Spirit and chosen to be babptized that day, and he was. In the year 2008 I met a dear friend and kindred spirit, Amy McCormick. In the year 2008 I was able to see my family for the first time in 18 months. My cousin and best friend, Sundy Lynn and her husband, Tyler, moved to Oregon to bless me with their sweet spirits during my sad days of post-mission life. During the year 2008 I had the oportunity to work closely with Santa Clause...the man who brightens the lives of believers, also known as children. In 2008 I received the sweetest gift I've ever received in my life from a longtime friend, Lisa Wach. A professionally bound and lamenated book of all my mission e-mails, my call, letters from the President, and release letters and certificate along with several pictures. During 2008 I was able to bond tighter with my sister, Kayleen Nicole, over many happy hour meals, movies, and games. During 2008 I saw the most snow Portland has seen since 1968. During 2008 I began writing a boy...a boy I like and likes me...and he started writing me back. :) And now, 2008 is over. I can't wait for the wonderful opportunites 2009 will bring.

You still want that pony...don't you?

This line along with "And for you it was the choo choo train, and you wanted a red wagon...and you wanted the easy bake oven huh! Ho ho ho, MERRY CHRISTMAS!" rang through the halls of Pioneer Place Mall this past month, and I had the privelage of witnessing it. Well, the Santa job is almost over and I couldn't be HAPPIER!!! There's nothing like working with Santa EVERY SINGLE day to drive the Christmas spirit right out of ya. :) Nah, I'm just kidding. Besides the fact that the company I work for is extremely unorganized, I enjoyed being reminded of my childhood, back in the day when I believed in Jolly Ole St. Nick. Honestly, I believe Santa is a great step for kids. Something pretty tangible for them to believe in...an insentive to be good and help others, especially around Christmas time. Then, eventually, and hopefully, it evolves into a strong belief in Christ. Santa is no longer our insentive, but the Savior is and the rewards we receive for what He has done for us. I'm so thankful for the true reason for this season. :)

On another note...it looks like we're having a white Christmas here in Portland, OR. CRAZY!!! This is the most snow this area has seen since 1968!


I hope y'all have a very merry Christmas!

December 1st!

I can't believe it. Christmas is just around the corner. Ok, honestly I'm only making this post because I'm sittin' here at my sister's apartment, waiting for her to get ready to go shopping. There's not a whole lot to do and she suggested I make another post on my blog. So here it is.

Life is nice. Nice and busy. Thanksgiving did not seem like Thanksgiving this year. Probably because I had to work. But it was good none-the-less. The best thing about Thanksgiving food is Chuck's homemade turkey soup. I don't love turkey all that much. If it were up to me, we'd have steak. But, I absolutely LOVE Chuck's turkey soup. He's the best turkey soup maker ever. :) And this year it was extra tasty because my step-sister, Penny, made the turkey and she marinated it. So, put in the soup, it was DELICIOUS. I can't tell you enough how much I love turkey soup. Probably almost as much as I love sushi, which I'm going to have today...so I'm really excited about it.

For those of you who read this and care, Elder Colby Smith is still in my life. We continually write letters once a week, and I'm expecting a second tape from him this week. He's a doll and I can't wait to see where this all takes us. He gets home February 25th. The time seems to be going by slower and slower...especially in between letters. Now, I just need to focus on getting into shape in the next couple months. :)

Working two jobs isn't really my thing, but luckily it will only last up until Christmas. Being on my feet for 12 hours straight or more every day has really been hard on my feet. They're swollen...they didn't even fit into my church shoes this Sunday! Goodness. But, I know I'm gonna love it when I start seeing the money come in. :)

By the way, I absolutely love Sundays. Church is wonderful. I was recently called as a primary worker and I'm enjoying that. And, I LOVE the family dinners we have every Sunday where my sister and her boyfriend come over, along with my cousin Sundy and her husband Tyler when they can. It's so much fun. I LOVE my family.

Ok, so this was the most boring post I've made I think. Oh well. It made the time go by faster. Buh bye!