I've been worrying a lot lately.
About things like money, my future, my ability to survive on my own. You know...the basics.
I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to get through grad school (assuming I don't fail miserably...it's hard), get $40,000+ in debt with loans, and then come out the other side without a plan, without connections, without job prospects...and worst of all, without a love for the field I just spent the past two years studying and pumping money into.
I'm scared.
I'm scared to make big-time life decisions by myself. I'm scared to continue moving forward in a decision...a decision that is ultimately shaping the rest of my life.
I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to make it in the journalism world. I don't like being aggressive. And journalism often takes aggression.
I'm afraid I don't know how to live alone. I'm afraid of loneliness.
I'm worried that I don't fit into the corporate world. Nor do I want to. I'm afraid I'm trying to climb a latter that's up against the wrong wall.
Ahhhh...the worries of a 27-year-old single woman. This is my life, and I just can't help but worry sometimes.
We all have worries.
These are mine. Thanks for "listening." :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
When I was worrying about something today and feeling anxious about it, I was texting Drew (because I don't actually see him very often haha) voicing my worry. And he said something so simple, yet it was just what I needed. He said, "Its all in Gods hands, and those are good hands to be in." Maybe thats not "just what you needed to hear" like it was for me. But I know that you have been prayerful about your endeavors. So as you act upon them now, have faith and confidence that God is leading you every step of the way. I most definitely believe in you. And right now I just wish we could sit and chat and laugh like old times and maybe even eat a bowl of mac and cheese with ketchup. hahaha Do you remember introducing us to that that wonderful concoction? Random memory I know but it made me laugh. Anyway, we could talk about our fears and realize all they are, are fears....like a monster in a closet while we eat mac and cheese and ketchup. hahaha Love you Crystal. You are doing and will do great things.
Hey girl-
Sometimes its helpful to know that someone has been in your shoes before/still is. I'm that girl. I've been in your shoes. Stepping into the world of dentistry, taking out a $50,000 loan hoping being a single 23 yr old (at the time)beyond all hope that you like it, because if not your co-signers on the loan (parents) will kill you and then what would you do? Its a HUGE worry I had. I worried that I've never seen that sort of money before so how in the world was I ever going to pay that back + interest!? I'm here to tell you though Crystal, everything will work out. And somehow... those loans get less and less every month. Take one day at a time in school. Take one payment at a time when you get out. Don't stop living your life because "I can't spend money because I'm in so much debt." I worried sick about that. Enjoy the journey of school and all that you get to learn. Like Hailey said, you've been prayerful about this and you've made the courageous move and big steps to get to DC. The Lord does not set us up to fail. You felt right about it, everything will work out, trust that confirmation you had. I love the quote Drew sent Hailey. Its perfect. Keep your head up girl. Worry less and have fun with the adventure. I say worry less, because lets be honest... we all hate when people say "dont worry" right? And remember... It takes money to make money :)
Ready girl!? SUCK IT UP! You are doing big things! Good things. Things that you need to focus on the HERE and NOW, not worry about the future, you can look to it, but don't get so caught up that you cause unneeded anxiety. These are things I am in the process of learning myself. I'm starting to learn that it's super pointless worrying about the future and how things will pan out right now. The future will come in it's own time, and you are doing everything you can to prepare for it now, but don't fret about it.
I totally understand and feel your pain though - especially the "what if it's not right and I'm wasting X amount of years and XX,XXX amount of money in loans and such, and what if I don't become a CEO of a major medical corporation?!" But I LOVE the classes I'm in now and (mostly) how my life is panning out right now, and that's all I can focus on - all of the experiences that will lead up to graduation.
Thanks, ladies! I love all of your thoughts. Honestly, everyone's advice really has helped me relax...and I do need to just take it a day at a time. And not just "take it" but ENJOY it a day at a time. :) Thanks again...I really appreciate your thoughts.
Post a Comment