Sixth: My day

This is also a boring one. Who came up with these?

My day started at 6:00 a.m., after a very restless sleep. I was sweating and dreaming up a storm last night...waking up SEVERAL times before the alarm went off. Gosh...why can't my brain just SLOOOOOW down a bit?

I showered, dressed, did my hair and makeup, which took about 45 minutes all together. I then drove to work, which is right by the cemetery we buried my dad in. It's usually a 10 minute drive with no traffic, but today there was traffic so it took 20 minutes. But that's okay, because I can technically show up at work any time between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. So I wasn't late.

Then...for the entire day I made photo copies and did inventory of files. This isn't what I normally do...but it's got to be done. So, I was the chosen one. :) The day actually went by surprisingly fast. I take a 30 min. lunch break in order to get out of there at 3:30 p.m. Yay for getting off of work before rush hour traffic!

So, now, here I am, just sitting on the floor of my room with the lap top Bobby gave me, (yes, he gave me a new laptop, because my old one was a piece of crap...he's the nicest bro-in-law around) writing this blog post. I'm actually procrastinating something. I need to write an essay as part of an application I'm going through. I've put off the essay because I like to ponder things like that as long as possible, and I had other things to gather for the application, but now I'm done gathering everything else, and I NEED to write the essay. Blah. I procrastinate even when I'm not in school. And this essay will not be hard to write. So I don't know what my deal is.

Anyway...it's only 4:30...but that's been my day until now. I'm sure you all are just jumping out of your seats with the excitement of my day...if you even made it all the way down to the bottom of my post. :)

Fifth: My definition of love

I don't know what love is. I keep asking myself that these days. In fact, I was saying that to myself a couple hours ago as I was walking to the refrigerator in our garage, getting milk. I said, out loud to myself, "I don't even know what love is."

The subject of love has been on my mind A LOT this last year. Can you help what you love...who you love...when you love? I've heard several times, "You can't help who you fall in love with." Is that true?

There's this old song I've loved since I was little. I don't know who the singer is, and I don't even know what album it comes from. I learned of the song when I was really little...my mom had a cassette tape she'd play as she exercised, and it was a tape her sister put together, a mix of different LDS/Contemporary Christian singers from different albums. The song, I believe, is called "What Love Was." Maybe it's called "The Last Touch." I don't know. Anyway, here it is.

Their first touch at seventeen was in the park
And the moon was full
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was long and her eyes were blue
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Another touch at twenty-two on their wedding night
And the stars were bright
She was beautiful to him
And her hair smelled sweet and her lips were full
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

And then again at twenty-five when the baby came
And the sun was high
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was damp and her fingers shook
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Later on at fifty-four sitting on the porch
All the children gone
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was gray and her forehead lined
And her skin was warm
And she turned to him
And he thought he knew what love was

Their last touch at eighty-five was by her bed
And the moon was full
She was beautiful to him
And her hair was thin and her eyes were closed
And her skin was cold
And she turned to him
And he knew that he knew what love was

After sixty eight years of laughter and tears
He knew that he knew what love was.

It's quite the tender song, actually. So, I suppose this is what love is. It's undefinable, really. We always think we know, but it can always grow stronger and stronger. And it can diminish. It's like the movie "Dan In Real Life" (one of my favorite movies) where the crazy daughter's boyfriend tells Dan, "Love isn't a feeling; it's an ability." I believe, at the beginning, we may not be able to control who or what we love. It's just a feeling we have...we're drawn to someone...and deep feelings come. But we have the ability to nurture it and make it grow, or we have the ability to ignore it and shut it off. Sometimes, it seems impossible to shut it off. If you love someone, you just love them. Maybe, but we can choose to shut it off. It's painful, but it's possible...and sometimes very needed. And, we have the choice to make it grow, to feed the fire and work at the love we've committed to. The deepness of the love...well, it's a choice; it's an ability.

So, that's what I think. But what the heck do I know?

Fourth: What I ate today

Whoopie. What an exciting blog topic.

I skipped breakfast, because I get up at the crack of dawn for work.

For lunch I had an apple, a banana, a granola bar and avocado slices wrapped in lunch meet...turkey to be exact. I really REALLY enjoy turkey wrapped avocado. Well, I just really love avocado. Mmmmmm.

I came home and I had a few semi-sweet chocolate chips, a handful of chips with Resers Salsa, and a glass of water. No, I didn't eat the water, I drank it, but I'm including it because it was the first thing I drank all day...and it's worth mentioning because it's amazing how water can cure so many ailments. I was super dehydrated today. Oh, and I had a boiled egg...with salt.

So, that's it. Boring boring post. But...whatev. It's on the list, so I did it. Feels good to check it off. :)

I would add more to this post...but everything I'm feeling and thinking about is just too jumbled up in my brain/heart and would make no sense on paper/computer. So...nah. But I'll end with this....

Kayleener and Bobby are going to have a baby! Woot for being an aunt! :)

Third: My parents

Madre. Love her. She knits the most amazing things (hats, sweaters, scarves, socks, ponchos...you name it, she does it) and cooks like a chef. She is warm, kind, tender, considerate, respectful, sensitive and understanding. She seeks to communicate openly...the apple doesn't fall too far from that tree. She sings like an angel. Wow...two cliches already. Anyway, she's my closest friend. I love spending time with her. She's usually the first person I go to...in person, phone call, text...when I have something I just have to get off my chest. We do have our misunderstandings at times, but we always work them out. If there was ever a person who wanted to get inside my heart and understand who I really am and love me for it, it's my mother. I appreciate her immensely.


Dad. Haven't seen him for a while, so I only know him from a child's perspective. But let me tell you what I do know. He worked hard for what he had. He believed in God and stayed worthy of His blessings. He loved me, Kayleen, Kevin and my mom a ton. He loved the outdoors. His job prior to getting cancer was working as a recreation manager for the military in Germany. He took the military men and their families on canoe trips, rafting trips, ski trips...all sorts. He LOVED football. He was a magician on the side...he'd get gigs doing magic at birthday parties and things like that. He was funny and very charismatic...knew how to entertain a crowd. I love him and miss the chance to know him now. I'm happy to know that chance will come, because I will see him again.



Chuck. Good man. Always ALWAYS looks at the positive. He has the attitude that things can always be worse, so he's thankful for what he has. Not afraid of getting down and dirty to get the job done. Very neighborly. He will help a neighbor out in a heartbeat...even if he barely knows the person. Extremely service oriented. He's always somewhere helping someone. He knows everyone in Oregon. Okay...maybe not everyone, but TONS of people. The man knows someone wherever he goes. And he can chat up a storm with a person he hasn't seen in several years. People don't have a hard time opening up around Chuck. He's the go-to guy at church...he's the go-to guy in the neighborhood because he's dependable. He doesn't talk much about feelings...or get very emotional, but he's always willing to evaluate a situation and apologize when he's in the wrong. That's commendable.

Second: First Love

L-is for the way you look at me. O-is for the only one I see. V-is very very extraordinary, and E-is even more than anyone that you adore.

So, first love, huh? Well, really, how do we know who our first love is? Every time we love someone new, we think we love the new person ten times more than the last. But when we were in the last love, we thought that was the peak. So, it's really hard to say. I'll say this. My first actual human love was sweet, tender, scary, intimate, confusing, difficult, easy, enjoyable and heart-breaking. It was a powerful experience, and I'm glad it happened.


But, if you want to hear more detail from me about my first love, I'm willing to give all the details of this first love. I know...a bit odd that I'm saying Amy Grant is my first love. A woman...20+ years older than I...whom I've never met. Obviously she's not my first love in the sense most people think of a first love. But, she's the first thing/person my mind rested on several times a day. Why? Well, a few reasons.

Reasons in a quick version:
1)She's the first singer I remember in my childhood. The whole "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question...my answer was "A singer like Amy Grant" when I was 5 years old.
2)She/her music was there with me through thick and thing...my dad's death, specifically and my mom's remarriage. She helped me cope and took me back to a more simple time.
3)She inspired me to pick up the guitar and write my own songs...life-saving for me.


More detailed version:

1)I was introduced to Amy Grant's music when I was...maybe 3? I used to say that my first encounter with her music was when I was 5 years old. My mom was pregnant with my brother and I distinctly remember my parents buying her "Heart in Motion" album/tape and saying to Kayleen and me, "We're going to have a little baby in our home soon. And this tape has a song about a baby." We were excited...there was a song about our little brother on that tape! My parents were referring to Amy's popular song "Baby Baby" which is about Amy Grant's daughter, Milly. Amy wrote it for/about Milly when Milly was only an infant. The record company made it into a love song. But, now that I think of it, I don't believe this was my first introduction to Amy, because my mom had Amy's "Collection" tape that I can remember listening to prior to "Baby Baby." Anyway...I loved Amy back then because I wanted to be a singer, and I loved pretending I was her. I'd stand on the coffee table with a hair brush and just belt it out. Kayleen and I would request her (or Wilson Phillips...or New Kids on the Block) on every car ride. That's when the love began.

2)I took a small break from Amy when my dad got sick with cancer. We moved to the States, and our routine was no longer normal. I don't remember spending so much time with music as I do spending time in the hospital. After my dad died, I found our old "Heart in Motion" tape and began listening to it...to calm me and take me back to the days of simplicity. Amy's voice and songs took my mind back to Germany and my healthy dad. This is when I created an attachment to Amy. She represented something special to me. She was more than a singer at that point. She was with me through thick and thing...before, during and after all the hardship. She was my friend and her voice and words brought me comfort.

3) When my mom got remarried I felt very lost. I'm not going to go into that with too much depth...we'll just say I needed an outlet. Because of my love for Amy Grant, I decided I wanted to try to be like her. She had once said, "I believe everyone can write a song, they're just intimidated by the idea, so they never try." So, I decided I wanted to try. When I was 7 I had announced to my parents I wanted to learn the guitar. They didn't take me seriously. Then, in the 7th grade (after my Mom's remarriage) I was talking with some kids in my math class, telling them that one day I would save up enough money to buy a guitar and write songs. My teacher overheard me talking about this desire and called me up to her desk. She said, "Crystal, I have a proposition for you. I have a guitar that I never play. I'm willing to loan it to you while you save up for your own...on one condition. You come and play me the things you're learning every once in a while." I was ecstatic. If it weren't for this teacher, I probably would have never had the motivation to actually save up for my own guitar. I borrowed her guitar for a year...learning Amy Grant songs and writing my own, while I saved up all my baby-sitting money for my own. Anyway, Amy was my inspiration...and because of my desire to play and write songs like she did, I had an outlet. I stayed sane. I developed my love of writing, singing...expression.

So, Amy Grant...her music, words, voice...is my first love. Her music saved my life in more ways than one.

First: Introduction

In case you missed the memo, I'll be doing this on occasion. This is the first of many to come.

So, hello. My name is Crystal Noel Perry, and I was born December 26, 1984 in Orem, Utah to Brian Calvin Perry and Carla Sue Billington Perry Hanchett. Yes, my mother has many names. I was the first of three children. My sister came along when I was two, and we moved to Frankfurt, Germany shortly thereafter. At the end of our stay in Germany, my brother joined us. My first memories were created in Germany. I actually remember it quite vividly. We moved back to the States when I was only 6, and yet, I can tell you specific details, specific times and specific faces of Germany. There's a reason for this. Germany was the only location my dad was healthy (in my memory).

So, who am I?
Here are some of my top likes.

Music. Definitely music.I'm obsessed with my guitar. It's probably my best friend right now. It's been my best friend for quite a while. I play until my fingers bleed. Okay...not really. Well, when I first started I did. You have to build up calluses. :) I took lessons, but most of what I play is self-taught, seeing as how I never wanted to practice what my teacher tried to teach me, and just wanted to play my own stuff. I wish I had paid more attention, because I'd be an excellent guitar player today instead of an average one. Oh well. Life goes on. I also took piano lessons and trumpet lessons as a child. The only instrument I played and enjoyed as much as the guitar was the baritone/euphonium. I switched to that instrument from the trumpet in order to have a better shot at making it into the Symphonic Band in high school. And I did. Good choice. Anywho...I love to write songs with my guitar. And sing. It calms me. It keeps me sane. It makes me happy.

Possibly a little too obsessed. This woman is my inspiration for a little bit of everything in my life. Two specific things...my writing and my singing. Expression. I would go into great detail right now about Amy Grant, but I think I'll save it for a later post. Let's just say, if it weren't for her, I may have never even picked up the guitar or pursued my writing passion. In fact, I'm 97% sure I wouldn't have.

I'm going to let this picture account for a few things. 1)The Gospel of Jesus Christ. 2)The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 3)The Book of Mormon 4)My mission in the Mississippi Jackson Mission. My mission was a defining moment in my life. I always go back to it. It's where I really learned what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is all about. It's where I read the Book of Mormon with more than one purpose of reading. It's where I grew to know my Savior. It's where I learned to really love people. It's where I began to understand what the impact Christ's Gospel can have on people. It's where I became very aware of my many weaknesses. Have I ever questioned the truthfulness of the Gospel? No, not the Gospel itself. Have I ever questioned The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Sure. Who wouldn't? A 14-year-old boy praying and seeing God and Jesus Christ? Interesting, to say the least. All I know is, I've received an answer. I know Christ restored the fullness of His Gospel on the earth by restoring His priesthood authority to the earth, just as he brought when He came before, and gave to his apostles. Any doubt, fear, misgivings or desire to wander since receiving this answer is due to my natural man not wanting to follow the truths I know in my heart.

I'm passionate about communication. It was my major in college. It's what I've centered myself around my entire life. I've always wanted to understand people...always wanted to know what people were thinking, why they liked certain things, why they acted the way they act. I've always wanted to understand people...put myself in their shoes. I've always wanted to talk things out, explain my thoughts and feelings in a clear way. I really like it when two people understand each other completely...not necessarily agreeing...but understanding. It makes me happy when effective communication is taking place. I like to talk. I like to write. I like to sing. I like journalism, t.v., facebook, blogging and cell phones. I love the millions of different ways people communicate. I love figuring it all out...understanding it all. I intend to further my education in the field of communication.

I also like my family. But I'm saving them for another post as well. So...while I'm sure I have many other interests, likes and faves...I'll keep it at this. That's me. :)

Just not buyin' it...

Can someone please explain this to me? When the heck did this little dude explode over the "music" scene? I mean...did you see the age of those fans in the first few seconds? Uh...

I seriously had no clue who he was until August, when I was flipping channels and saw some E Hollywood story on him. The way his colleagues were talking about him on the show, I thought it was some long time, amazing star...and then the camera shot to this little boy with helmet hair. Um...what?

This disturbs me for a couple of reasons. I'm only going to focus on one reason in this post, however. I could go off on his age, the fact that people who have been struggling for years to make it in the music industry are swallowed whole by a 12-year-old. Okay...15. Whatever. But, in this post, I want to talk about talent.

What is talent, and how does it relate to music?

Okay, I understand that I have a WIDE range of interests when it comes to music. Basically, my only request is that the artist has talent on some level. People could argue with me about what I regard as talent, I suppose. When it comes to a musical star, I expect at LEAST one of three talents, and by one I mean the star is extremely good at one, and pretty good at the other two.

1)Vocal performance 2)Songwriting ability 3)Entertainment---Please note, I'm mostly talking about singers...not strictly instrumental musicians.

Vocal: The singer blows the audience away by his/her voice. He/she brings tears to people's eyes with the right note (tears of joy, that is). The voice stands alone...as American Idol puts it, we could hear this person sing the dictionary and we'd be moved to tears. Celine Dion, Josh Groban, Whitney Houston...those are your typical, known powerhouse vocals. Here's Celine with the Canadian Tenors...without rehearsing together. I could have picked a more amazing performance by her, but I LOVE this one, and the song.



Songwriting: The words actually mean something and/or the melody (if without music) speaks to us as though words accompanied it. I understand that I have songs on my playlist that consist of meaningless lyrics...I'm specifically thinking of Adam Lambert's "Strut." But I'm not going to defend this, because he executes the other needed talents, and with some songs, executes the songwriting ability as well. Anyway, lyrics...deep feelings, emotion, thoughts put into lyrics. Feelings, emotion and thoughts we all have but can't put into words ourselves. Amazing example of this:



Michael McLean wrote this through the eyes of a mother who placed her baby for adoption...a mother who loved her child enough to give him a better life. What MAN knows this experience? No man, except Christ. But Michael captured it. TALENT.

Entertainment: Now this one really shouldn't stand on its own. It should be accompanied pretty closely by at least one of the other talents. But, if the star is pretty good at one of the other two, and amazing at entertaining, I believe they are still deserving of star status. Because after all, that is what we pay for...to be entertained. This person knows how to feel the music...get the crowd excited or really into what he/she is singing, delivers a performance that we fall in love with...he/she gets into character and makes us believe him/her.

I'm putting two different performances by this man...because he entertains according to the song.





I apologize for the quality of "Black or White." I couldn't get code for the good recording. Check it out on youtube if you so desire. All I can say is, no matter what the song...what the props...this man OWNS the stage he stands on.

So, again, can someone please explain Justin Bieber to me? I just don't feel he's deserving. Am I being heartless? Am I missing something?