Writing is important

So, my blog has been more of a hassle than a joy in my life as of late. Mostly because I've been having this internal battle with myself that goes something like this:

"Do I have anything of value to actually put out into the Internet world? Why is what I think, believe, feel... important enough to share with anyone and everyone? My life is boring...why would people want to read it? Why am I writing if no one reads?"

"But...writing is important. People like to relate to other people. If I'm a writer I need to be writing daily, and a blog is a wonderful way to make that happen. I care to know what other people think, believe, feel...so maybe people feel the same way about me."

Also, I've been trying to keep my feelings in check the past couple of months. I've realized that I sometimes share things too freely. I don't let my thoughts and feelings develop. I just spout them off as soon as I feel them. This can be dangerous at times. So, every time I sit down to write something, I think for a long time, and then I usually end up walking away from the computer without typing a thing. Good and bad. Because, like I said, I think that if you love something, like writing, singing, knitting, sewing...you should take time to do it every day. And, because I call myself a writer, I believe I should force myself to write every day. So, here's what I will do.

Two of my cousins, Emilee and Jenn, have been following this pattern. It reminds me of those journal jars we would make in Young Women (church youth organization)...where you pull a little piece of paper with a subject written on it out of the jar every day and write about it in your journal. I really enjoy Emilee's and Jenn's blog posts, so I'm going to copy them in order to plow forward in my writing endeavors. This is the list:

Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words

Day 02 – Your first love


Day 03 – Your parents


Day 04 – What you ate today 


Day 05 – Your definition of love


Day 06 – Your day

Day 07 – Your best friend


Day 08 – A moment


Day 09 – Your beliefs

Day 10 – What you wore today 


Day 11 – Your siblings


Day 12 – What’s in your bag


Day 13 – This week

Day 14 – What you wore today

Day 15 – Your dreams

Day 16 – Your first kiss

Day 17 – Your favorite memory


Day 18 – Your favorite birthday

Day 19 – Something you regret


Day 20 – This month


Day 21 – Another moment


Day 22 – Something that upsets you

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better


Day 24 – Something that makes you cry

Day 25 – A first

Day 26 – Your fears

Day 27 – Your favorite place


Day 28 – Something that you miss


Day 29 – Your aspirations


Day 30 – One last moment

I may start later today... :)

For all you mommy-bloggers out there... :)

My cousin, Amberly, posted this article on her blog. I loved it and thought I'd share it with all y'all. :)

http://mobile.salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs/index.html

Number ONE lesson learned in 2010

You have to appreciate and love yourself before you can really appreciate and love someone else.

Missing her...

My niece, Gracie.



I took care of her during Spring semester. We spent a lot of quality time together. I had no idea you could create such a strong bond with such a little person...a person who can only communicate through broken words,hand motions and physical touch.

I love her and miss her...lots.

Twenty Six

I am now 26 years old...and in my 27th year.

Here's what I learned in my 26th year of living:

1) God loves me, not because I am good, but because I'm His.
2) I am good because I'm His.
3) This life isn't a competition for who needs/uses repentance or the atonement the least...it's not like we'll line up on judgement day and hear, "Okay...whoever used the atonement the least amount gets the best reward."
4) I only really fail when I don't try.
5) I can achieve great things when I put my mind to something.
6) It's crucial to my well-being to set healthy boundaries in every relationship I have.
7) We're all just little kids wandering around this great big world, faced with our own tests and challenges, and God loves us all the same.

Must blog

This Christmas season has been much more about the Savior for me.

Reason #1: The Forgotten Carols. Beautiful. I've grown up with my mom playing the Forgotten Carols while she's cleaning/cooking in the kitchen. But honestly, I never caught the entire story before. Well, during my internship I had the chance to tag along with the cast, hang out with Michael McLean, get free tickets to the show, and help promote the tour. The lead singer of the show, Jordan Bluth, has his own Christmas CD out, and I've been listening to that NON-STOP, especially the Forgotten Carols songs he featured on the album. It's all really helped me focus on the Savior. Honestly...haven't really thought about gifts...lights...decorations...much at all this year. So thankful for the Forgotten Carols music.

Reason #2: Selfless acts of service done on my behalf. About a month ago I discovered a HUGE puddle of antifreeze under my car. Yep...bad leak. I have no money. I was freaking out. A family friend, Jeremy Anderson, fixes cars for a living. I spent Thanksgiving with his family, and he looked at my car that day. He gives me a diagnosis and says, "Bring it by the shop during my lunch hour." Yes, the man fixed my car during his lunch hour and only charged me the cost of the part...no charge for the labor. Can you believe that? I cried. I still tear up just thinking about it.

I have so much gratitude for really good people...and really good music. Happy Christmas!

It's happening

I'm beginning to freak out about my future.

What am I going to do with my life? I've been going to BYU-Idaho for so long. Now I'm graduating. Should I look for a job in my field right away? Should I go to school part time while working? Should I take whatever the heck I can get at the risk of staying in it forever and never going back to school and never accomplishing my dreams? Should I just work for a little bit, then take out loans and go to school full time? I need experience; I do. But my ultimate goal is to get a Doctorate and become a professor. What if I can't find anything in the writing field? Everything wants two or more years of experience. I wish I had connections...someone to stick their foot in the door so I can pop my head in. I need advice, people. Please. Tell me what to do. I need wise, sound advice. I'm freaking out.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to smother my worries with Christmas festivities.
Aunt Nancy, Aunt Annie, Uncle Bob and I all got together the day after Thanksgiving and dipped close to 1,200 home made chocolates. Yes. TWELVE HUNDRED. The following pictures will give you just a glimpse of all we did.




And today, Grandma and I are gettin' our Christmas on by doing a little decorating.

Grandma, winding up her little musical friend.

Makeup-less me, trying to keep it together.

More festivities...and graduation to come. :) Merry Christmas!