Shame on you.

Can we please strike this phrase from the English language? Seriously. Let's banish it. And if the phrase exists in other languages, let's banish it from those as well.

Definitions of shame:

1. A painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.

2. A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.

Why would any of us, imperfect humans, wish to put a feeling of humiliation, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace on anyone? Especially children, toward whom the phrase is often geared.

This phrase literally gives me the heeby jeebies. I cringe when I hear it. It needs to go.

Those are my two cents for the day.

I have a lot of feelings

And they all came out through my eyeballs today...twice. Wait, maybe three times.

I neeeeeeed to find a man who is not afraid of emotion. That is all.

That, and...I'm voting for Romney. And if Romney doesn't get the nomination, I may not vote for a president.

And I really don't think marriage should be a government thing.

Thank you, and good night.

Another post

I love music. And reading. And the news. But not politics.
And I love food. And spices.
I love nature. And walking. I love Jack, my dog. He has one eye. I love fire. Fireplaces are nice and cozy. I love the rain. I love big windows. I love long drapes. I like fleece blankets and homemade hot chocolate. I like smooth sheets and my fleece poncho.
I love singing talent shows like American Idol and The X-Factor. I love when people achieve their dreams.
I love Portland. I love short nails with dark nail polish. I like watching people who are in love interact with each other.
I love my niece. I love dimples.
I love diversity.
I love dramatic television shows. I love crying while watching dramatic television shows. I love watching LOST with my mom.
I like cooking sliced apples in coconut oil and coconut milk with Cinnamon and craisins. Yum.
I love the ocean. I love rivers. Water is good. I love trees. And green is my favorite color.

I love the realization of being a part of something bigger than myself. Like when I was in the symphonic band in high school. We won State my sophomore and junior year. Or like when I served my mission. We took the glad news to the South. Or like when I helped feed the homeless. Or when I heard baby Perry cry as she came into this world. Or when I touched my dad's lifeless body, cold and pale, with my small finger, but still felt his spirit beside me. I love the gospel. Because it's a mix of hope, truth, faith, reality, and the unknown. I love God, because I do. He loves me.

I love the guitar. And I love making percussion sounds in between strumming by hitting my palm on the wood of the guitar. I love singing.
I love listening to my brother sing. I love watching Kayleen smile at her baby when her baby wakes up from a nap. I love how Bobby works hard for his family. I love watching my mom knit. I love hearing Chuck laugh hard, because it rarely happens. When it does, it's priceless. I love reminiscing with Crystal Marley about watching Seinfeld. I love watching movies and eating ice cream with Matt, Penny, Ellie, Luke and Ben. I love the tenderness each one of those kids possesses. I love how Luke will walk up to me, hug me, and walk away. I love watching Ben snuggle up to his big sister, Ellie.
I love looking through pictures of my best friends from my childhood. I like seeing their children and how much their children look like them.
I love to write.
I love remembering.
I love journals.
I love exploring thought. I like empathy.
I love BYU-Idaho. And good professors.

I love life. And skipping. And jumping on trampolines.

This feeling is all too familiar.

I understand this song.


I can't wait to see her live in a few days. She captures experiences with such raw emotion.

I can't express enough...

How much I love paleo. I really do. It's such good food. Why is it good food? Because it's REAL food. It's natural food. It's light food. It's pure and flavorful food. I'm not sure where in our history the processed crap we get in boxes passed as actual food, but it's not. And I'm glad I've figured that out. Also, paleo exercises. Lift heavy things, walk, jump, run, climb, enjoy being active. It all makes so much sense. I love it.

Favorite paleo recipe blog HERE
Favorite paleo explanation blogs HERE and HERE
FAVORITE paleo podcast (and my favorite paleo media source over any other) HERE

Happy birthday to me!

A little late, I know.

But look what Santa (AKA, the mail wo/man) delivered to me today!!!



It's a beaut. It's my birthday/Christmas/Grad school gift to myself. I'm a writer...getting a Master's in Journalism. I NEEEEEEED a good laptop. :)

So now I have absolutely no excuses for not busting out my book. This is better than ice cream!

P.S. It's snowing in Portland. That's the delicious cherry on top of my laptop! :)

This is a first.

I never make resolutions for the new year. I never write them down. I rarely ever say them out loud. The farthest I'll sometimes go is glossing over a few things in my mind. But I don't like to be specific, as to not feel like a failure when I know I won't achieve them.

Well, this year is different. I definitely will fail when I believe I won't achieve. Writing is a way of committing. That's why I love writing. It's a form of true commitment. Commitment to your actions. Commitment to your thoughts. Commitment to your feelings. Putting pen to paper is a way of producing physical evidence of your inner thoughts, desires and emotions.

So, I have put pen to paper this year, and now I am putting fingers to keyboard. :) I have verbally read these out loud to my family, and I am now displaying them for all of you to see out in cyber world.

Physical:

I hope to be two sizes down by the end of 2012. If I shrink even more, great. But two sizes is my resolution. I want to be stronger, and I want to have more stamina in order to more thoroughly enjoy hikes and outdoor activities. The following points will help me achieve my physical desires.

1)I will exercise using my own body weight 2-3 times a week (sometimes using free weights), while doing some form of low-intensity cardio (walking, biking, rowing) for 3-5 hours per week. For more about this visit Mark Sisson's website here. Just click on the Primal Blueprint Fitness Ebook to the right.

2)I will be following a paleo eating plan. Click here to understand more about that.I've been eating this way since August 2011, so don't think I'm kidding myself here. It's not that difficult.

3)I will get at least 8 hours of sleep per night.

I believe it's important to have physical goals. Not for vain purposes, but to always be growing, improving and becoming the healthiest you. I'm not the healthiest me right now. I could be stronger. I could be faster. I could be happier. (And my physical state correlates closely with my happiness. When I'm eating healthy things that were created by God to give me nourishment, I feel better...every way you look at it. Also, moving around...taking a walk...exercising helps me feel happier.) I feel, if I only work on my spiritual self, and not my physical self, that's only rowing one paddle of a canoe, and I'm going in circles. God gave me this physical body for a reason. I need to keep it healthy so my spiritual self has no reason to get deterred.

Spiritual:
I hope to be closer to the Savior, to have a better relationship with Him, and to trust my Heavenly Father more. I'd like to be more patient with the people around me, more loving and more understanding. I want to be much slower to anger or get frustrated (which goes along with patience.) And I want to have the same belief in myself that my Heavenly Parents have in me. I want to feel Their belief in me, and, from that, produce my own faith in myself. The following points will help me achieve my spiritual desires.

1)I would like to have read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, and all the Standard Works (Old and New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price) by the time I'm 30. This involves me reading from the Book of Mormon and one other scripture on a daily basis. I still need to do the calculations to know exactly how to pull it off.

2)Something I stole from my friend Crystal Miller's blog...I want to work on a Christ-like attribute or commandment a month. I stole the monthly idea from her. My bishop has said that it can be overwhelming and kind of a downer when we think about all we want to improve on. But if we just work on one...one until we become excellent at it, then it's not so overwhelming. So, I'm going to pick something monthly. One month it may be scripture study...I'll study extra hard, keeping notes, looking up definitions and meanings, exploring the history. The next month may be temple attendance...for that month I'll attend once a week. One month it might be morning prayers, and the next month I'll focus extra hard on humility. I'm hoping by the end of the year I'll be a lot stronger in 12 commandments/Christ-like attributes.

3)I want to attend the temple once a month. Along with this, I'd like to visit some sort of beauty in nature once a month, the ocean, a waterfall, a hiking trail...and take time to sit and ponder.

4)Have actual conversations with my Heavenly Father. I don't want to just talk at Him. I want to listen.

5)This one is a wee bit personal, but I want to write everything out. So, I want to completely stop thinking/saying swear words. I'm not a big swearer. Those words aren't part of my normal verbal vocabulary. But, they do creep up in my mind pretty often...and seem to slip out during major frustration, pain or anger. I don't want those words to be in my thoughts any longer. I want to refine myself...my thoughts, desires, and actions. I want to know that if the Savior were next to me, I'd feel comfortable...not awkward and uncomfortable. So, I want to eliminate these words. There's really no point to them...especially if I'm working on being more patient and slow to anger. I believe fasting and prayer is the solution to this dilema. I'm seriously going to work hard on eliminating any swearword from my thoughts this year.

Other:
Improve my writing skills and take it to the next level:professional. I want to write a book by the time I'm 30, and I want to write at least one article this year and get it published in a magazine...and preferably get paid for it. :) I'd also like to improve my cooking abilities...understand different seasonings and spices and how to improve mundane dishes.

1)Write for at least a half hour every day. The subject doesn't matter so much as I focus on the quality and content of my words.

2)Create outlines for possible story ideas.

3)Carry out interviews I've wanted to do with specific people for the past two years.

4)Have 100 pages written toward the book by the end of the year.

5)Learn a new recipe a month and execute it.

6)Cook weekly, try new things...don't stick to the same paleo cookbook I've been using for the past 5 months.

So, these are my goals and resolutions. I know I can accomplish them. I won't stress; I'll just keep going, taking it one day at a time. Life is good. I will find the good and I will make it good.