Communication musings: How do we know what we know?

I find myself continuously pondering what I'm learning as a Communication graduate student, and I decided it might be fun to use my blog as an outlet.

I'm currently taking a Science and Environmental Communication course, in which we discuss how we, as a society, know what we know. As a child, I always considered myself a right-brain person, because as a child, it was relayed to me that creativity and arts live in the right side of your brain, and math and science live in the left side of your brain. If you gravitate towards one of those things more than the other, you must be one or the other. I've always loved music, which is a right-brain thing, and as a child I loved to draw, which is also considered a right-brain thing. I never liked math, and science never quite made sense to me. I didn't fully understand the purpose of science, until recently, to be honest. I never watched shows like Bill Nye the Science Guy...and science classes just always seems really confusing to me...math mixed with chemicals (especially in high school). When I pictured science I pictured men in white lab coats mixing chemicals to watch them explode, or men in white lab coats dissecting frogs for some unknown reason. It was hard to relate science to my personal life, a) because I always pictured men and I'm a woman (another issue for another blog post), and b) because, how do exploding chemicals and frog intestines relate to me personally? I'm sure they do somehow, but they didn't seem to in my childhood.

So, as a child, when you think you are something, it kind of sticks with you. I was right-brained and I was proud of that and there was no need to explore science or math or anything else the left brain operated because I was right-brained.

Wrong. I'm also extremely analytical. I pick everything apart and question everything. This is what made me really great Rewards Analyst, back when I was fully employed and making money (...the woes of a grad student). It's also what drives some people CRAZY when I have conversations with them.... "Why do you say that? Well how do you know? What makes you think he thinks that? Why are we doing this...what's the purpose?" Yeah, it can sometimes seem condescending when that's not my intention. It's kind of in my nature. I'm pretty logical, which gets me in trouble with spiritual things at times, because knowing by the Spirit is different from knowing by logic (logic is a more scientific method to know...Spiritual knowledge is faith-based). Writing falls in the left side of the brain, which I like to think is a skill of mine. This often confuses people because people associate writing with creativity, and creativity is a right-brain thing. The actual process of writing, and writing well, however, is a left-brain thing - grammar, structure, flow, word choice and placement. It's a strategic process. And then reasoning, which goes along with logic, rests in the left side of the brain, which I also encounter often.

So, friends... I've come to realize that I'm not just right brained, but I'm left brained too! And you probably have a bit of both as well. The reason I'm saying all this is because, at first glance, a Science and Environmental Communication class might seem like a real yawn to many of you. Truthfully, it did to me too. I honestly took it because I liked the looks of the course syllabus, and how the professor was going to structure the class (aka: workload seemed less than other class syllabi suggested). But as I've come to learn in this program, Communication itself is a science, a social science. Any time you go out into the field, observe something, make an educated guess (aka: hypothesis) and then test that educated guess, THAT'S SCIENCE. That's the scientific method. Communication just does that with people instead of chemicals. Psychology does that with people instead of chemicals. Sociology does that with people instead of chemicals. It's all science. Politics does that with people and political stuff instead of chemicals, hence, Political Science.

Anyway, this class. It's all about how we know what we know. I'm sure you hear things in the news all the time, "Study shows a glass of wine a day will reduce stress." "Study shows that eating steak will take 10 years off your life." "Study shows that lonely people experience worse cold symptoms than non-lonely people."  "Study shows...." That's all based on scientific studies. But often, what you read or hear in the news (or on FACEBOOK...) isn't even remotely close to what the actual scientific study found and suggested. Journalists don't always understand the scientific study, and they latch onto one line or one idea, and they report what they think it means. Or, a classic mistake... scientific studies ALWAYS say, "These findings support our hypothesis (educated guess), which SUGGESTS that people who drink one glass of wine a day will have reduced stress." Keep in mind, this study was ONE study, comparing maybe a couple hundred people in an experiment... and we don't know ANYTHING about the background of those people...lifestyle, work demands, health habits, family demands, etc. Sometimes the study will include those things...and try to get people as similar as possible to participate in the study, but not always. And reporters rarely, if ever, talk about all that jazz. They'll often just state, from one study that says a supported hypothesis suggests something, that "You should drink wine because it will reduce stress." Okay.... kinda stretched from the original finding.

Also, let's explore the idea of science from a different perspective. What are "facts" and what is "truth"? When you really think about it, these are often just the words we use for ideas, theories and subjects that have been tested enough times to produce the same results, which suggests that there is enough evidence to back up a hypothesis. But friends... history is full of hypotheses that were "proven" true for a while...all the evidence pointed to that truth, and then one day...BAM, someone tested it and, and the findings weren't the same as they always had been; the original truth suddenly becomes challenged and might not be true anymore. So, over a given period of time, with more people now testing that same thing with the impression that the pre-determined truth is no longer true, we finally move to a new truth. A prime and simplistic example of this: The world being flat vs. the world being round. Another prime example: the belief that stomach ulcers were caused by stress vs. stomach ulcers being caused by a bacteria (it's a bacteria...in case you still thought it was stress. ;)). When conducting scientific studies, scientists allow themselves a teeny bit of room for error, because it's impossible to study and find anything without a teeny room for error. It just is. Ask a statistic professor, because I can't quite explain it to you... just trust me on that. The room for error is small, but it's there. (Or don't trust me. Because this whole post is about how you shouldn't believe everything you read or hear. So... go find a statistician or scientist to explain to you why scientists leave a small percentage of chance to error.) And so, sometimes scientists find things in a study that make something SEEM true, but it's actually a finding that fell in that 2% chance of error, but we base the "truth" off of that error...because we can't know it's error until we test it a million more times to discover that was just a fluke finding (maybe not a million, but enough to kick out the error finding).

I'm not knocking science. It's wonderful. It leads to discoveries about all sorts of things, and we basically have everything...medicine, electricity, technology, mental health options, a planet that is still supporting us, all because of science. But it evolves. And progresses. Which is why we don't just test a bunch of things once, find answers, and then say, "Okay. All the scientists can find new jobs now." We keep making new discoveries, and sometimes, those new discoveries kick out the old discoveries, because the new ones are closer to the truth and what's right.

So, how do we know what we know? Well, we know things via communication. The only way we know anything is via communication. Or rather, we discover things via communication. We might know something by testing it, but we only know to test it through what we learned via communication. But do, and should, we take everything we learn via communication at face value and as truth? Mass communication, such as TV, radio and the internet...teach us basically everything we know in today's world. Books...sometimes. School... but teachers and professors learn from books, so I'll fall back to books for that one. But often, we learn via interpersonal communication as well. We learn things based on what our friends are talking about, and what they heard on the news, or out of the mouth of a celebrity, or read on Facebook. So, are we going to believe everything we read? Everything we hear? And then pass it on like it's fact? Like it's truth? What is fact? I take issue with the words fact and truth. Or, maybe I just take issue with how we use those words. Those words are thrown around far too casually. Sure, there are things we've come to learn as fact. No one has disproven gravity, for example...it's a thing. It's here to stay. It's a fact. But often, when we say, "I know for a fact..." or "The fact is..." well... where are you getting your facts and how do you know it is fact?

This stuff blows my mind. Honestly. It blows my mind. I even question my professors, and most of them would probably tell me, "Good for you." Because they're communication professors, and they know that every word, every utterance that comes out of human mouth, is subject to bias, mood, environment, etc. etc. And it's so unbelievably important in this day in age, with social media teaching so many of us what we know about the world and about each other, to really contemplate how we know what we know. I'm not saying we all have to become analytical beasts that chase all our friends away because we question everything too much (like me...). But I am suggesting that we should all just take a minute before we get caught up in the popular discourse and sharing of information that could possibly be skewed to rial you up, instead of present you with what a study actually found and suggested. And far too often, we don't question it before we share. How many times have we clicked on something, or nearly clicked on something, some offer for some amazing coupon, or some headline that seems too good to be true, and we open it to discover it was just a scam and think, "crap... I hope this doesn't give my computer a virus." We allow our emotions and our gut instinct to agree with or latch onto anything that's in our favor or already in line with our thinking. That's a natural psychological and biological thing to do. But we must start using rational and some logic to weigh what we're hearing and talking about via communication, if we're truly going to know and come to the truth. This goes for all information... not just scientific in nature. (But when you think about it, so much of our lives revolve around science... political, social, psychological, health..... it's all scientific to some degree). Even religion uses the scientific method, when you think about it. We come up with a hypothesis, based on scripture, that an idea or belief is true. Then we act in faith that it is, and wait to discover what happens - the Spirit either does or doesn't confirm the truthfulness of that hypothesis. Information is coming at us from all venues in all forms...and can be framed in any given way for any given purpose. Let's figure out what we're talking about before we talk, and how we know what we think we know before we share. 

That's all I've got today. Kind of broad. Stay tuned for more communication musings. ;)

Blogging instead of homeworking...

Last night, I made a specific decision to turn down a potentially great opportunity...for my sanity. From the outside perspective, it probably looks like a stupid decision. Kind of like how my decision to quit my journalism master's program at Georgetown probably looked to outsiders five years ago. Kind of like my decision to take a break from my undergraduate coursework for a few semesters...to work at Subway and live with my cousins...probably looked to outsiders. Kind of like quitting a job that drove me absolutely insane...when I didn't have any new jobs lined up...looked to outsiders (wait, I've done that twice). And sometimes, it's not just outsiders...or about outsiders at all. There's a really mean part of my subconscious, that is sometimes louder than other times, screaming, "YOU'RE SO WEAK. YOU CAN'T HANDLE ANYTHING. YOU'RE A LOSER." But I know in my heart of hearts that all these decisions were the right decisions for me. In hindsight, the past decisions I mentioned above, took me to where I needed to be...they were right for me. If I just stop and listen intently, I can hear the true me, the me that's in tune with God, the universe, and my own heart, and it drowns out the meanie in my mind that tells me I'm a loser.

I think so often, in regards to mental health, we feel "less-than"...as though it's not a worthy cause or an appropriate motive to make decisions. We call it "weakness" instead of calling it what it is, "mental-health maintenance." I've dealt with mental-health issues my whole life. I saw a school psychologists while my dad was dying. Post-death, I participated in school group counseling and a nonprofit child grief counseling center called The Dougy Center. In my pre-teen years I saw a counselor...and in my college years I saw a counselor. I've experimented with different anti-depressant medication...I've dealt with diagnosed forms of OCD/depression/anxiety for much of my life. And while I've currently got a decent grasp on my mental health with the appropriate amount of sleep, healthy eating, exercise, adult coloring, meditation, long walks, podcast listening, candle burning (and anything else that brings me happiness), it doesn't mean I don't still deal with it, and have to acknowledge it as a very real thing in my life. But the truth of the matter is, we ALL should be doing things that help us achieve pique mental health. And we shouldn't brush it under the rug as weakness. If someone is fit and physically healthy, does it make him/her need physical health maintenance any less than someone who might not be physically fit and/or healthy? No. Obviously, s/he is doing the maintenance that is required...which is why s/he's physically fit and healthy. We all need physical health and maintenance. For some of us, it might be a bit harder to maintain than others, for a variety of reasons. But we ALL need it. It's the same with mental health.

So... here's my plea, to you and to me, to be happy and content with who we are...and replace the notion of "weakness" with "mental-health maintenance." Y'all are worth it. Give yourself a break and tell the meanie you (and all of us have) in your head to back the hell off.

It's been over a year since I posted in here.

I don't have time to be writing this post. Grad school is kicking my butt.

I'm really into melancholy music.

https://youtu.be/l0XRlNZbQFE

That's all for now.

Sad post

My song-writing button in my soul is broken. It doesn't work when I try to turn it on. It's been nearly 5 years since I've written a song. I tried to write one today, and I just started crying. I don't even really know why. It just made me very emotionally upset.

It makes sense... Five years ago was the peak of my depression. The breaking point. I wrote a few songs while in the midst of my ultimate misery, and then didn't pick up the guitar for a long while after. Something is literally broken in me. I'm scared of it. I just can't write songs.

It makes me sad. I miss it.

Two cents

One time, my then 30-year-old friend and her then 28-year-old fiance were told by their stake president that for the last few weeks before their marriage they shouldn't be alone together. She then said, "You know, President, I don't think that council really applies to us. I don't think we'll be following it." And he said, "You know what? You're probably right. That doesn't really apply to you very well."

And here we have an example of an open conversation between common-folk and priesthood authority. Sometimes, respectfully agreeing and sharing one's thoughts is beneficial.

They proceeded to be alone together prior to their marriage...and they were married in the temple without a glitch.

The end.

I can't put into words...

I'm at the beloved Peterson's home. Not 5 minutes after my parents picked me up from the Salt Lake City airport last night, my cousin, Sundy, calls to welcome me to Utah because she couldn't be at the house when I got there, but wanted to make sure I knew how happy she was that I was there. As I stepped into the Peterson's entry-way, the lights were dimmed, candles were lit and the tree was bright. My aunt Nancy had lit the candles just for me, hoping to make it feel warm and Christmassy. My uncle has said, at least 4 or 5 times since I've gotten here, how wonderful it is to have me and my family with them for Christmas. My cousin, Lacey, went on a hunt for a fan and laid it on my bed for my arrival, because she knows I need white noise to sleep. Happiness continually asks, "Where's my Crystal?" always making me feel wanted. Paul gives me warm bear hugs whenever he sees me. This is my second family. I began writing the post below before I arrived... But now I just have to attempt to finish it. I love this family beyond what words can accurately describe, but I'll do my best in a simple blog post.

My dad passed away on the cusp of the holiday season of 1993. The way I often describe the feeling in our home and lives after my dad's death, especially the first year, is...winter. Dark, rainy, long nights, short days, wet, cold...hard. Winter. The feeling in our souls when my dad died was...winter. How would we make it through the dark? The sun felt so far away. Life was like a never-ending winter.

Lucky for us, the Peterson family, my Aunt Nancy (my mom's older sister) and Uncle Bob, invited us to Virginia to spend our first Christmas without my dad with them. They greeted us at the airport, and I'll never forget the smiles on their faces when we arrived. The two oldest cousins, Happy and Sundy, just gushed over us and hugged us, asking how we were and if we were excited for Christmas. The two younger cousins, Lacey and Paul, joyfully accepted us as well...excited for more friends. They brought the sun to our lives, melting the wintery feeling away. With their hugs, their laughter, their joy and excitement to have us there, their music and singing, their love. That Christmas was one that has been chiseled into my heart and memory. Sledding, singing at the DC temple visitor's center, belting Amy Grant lyrics in the car, playing games, touring the White House...it was magical. It brought the much-needed sunlight to our aching hearts.

The Peterson clan has been a source of sunlight for me ever since that time. I've lived with them twice in my life. One specific time, in particular, they were a godsend, and it wasn't a coincidence I was living with them when I did. I deeply struggled to maintain happiness and love for myself during that year, and they showered me with nothing but love and acceptance. They saved me.

I feel so lucky and blessed to spend Christmas with them and my family this year. It always feels like warm summer with the Petersons. Their home is filled with music and singing, Christmas decorations, And the feeling of the Savior's love. And let's not forget...goodies, lots and lots of goodies, many of which are dropped off by the multitude of friends they have acquired throughout  the years of their generosity and outpouring of love to others.

My heart is seriously full this Christmas season. I truly hope I can bring as much joy to people's lives as the Peterson's have brought to mine and my family's. I'm so thankful for the joy of the Savior's birth, and how Heavenly Father puts people in our lives to help us recognize that miraculous joy, even in the darkest of times.

Merry Christmas!!

Selfish Thankfulness

Every week of my existence comes and goes, and every week, sometimes daily, I have this waive of relief wash over me that I am not alone in this spot of life. And then I feel bad and selfish, because I know that nearly every woman my age would prefer to be married with children...so I feel bad being thankful that they're around to keep me company. But what I truly feel thankful for is that God keeps putting people in my life who are walking the same path. So at the end of a hard day, I can go to my roommate's bedroom and say, "I just took half a sleeping pill to knock myself out...but before I hit the hay, can you give me a pep talk about life?" And she totally gets it and gives me exactly the pep talk I need.

I feel like moms get each other. I see it all over facebook. Someone complains about their 3 or 4-year-old throwing a tantrum or being too clingy, and other moms comment and say, "I've been there; you're not alone!" Thing is...there's more of you moms out there than there are of us 30+ single women. I thank God, I literally thank Him, that He keeps putting women in similar phases of life in my own life so I can get some support. You just don't get it if you're not here. I don't get your stuff...you don't get mine. We all need people who understand our stuff. Everyone deserves a little understanding and empathy

I just truly hope I don't wake up at 47 and still find myself in this boat. Because honestly, I'll probably be the only one left...and that is when it will feel incredibly lonely.

Today.... Thank goodness it's over.