I can't put into words...

I'm at the beloved Peterson's home. Not 5 minutes after my parents picked me up from the Salt Lake City airport last night, my cousin, Sundy, calls to welcome me to Utah because she couldn't be at the house when I got there, but wanted to make sure I knew how happy she was that I was there. As I stepped into the Peterson's entry-way, the lights were dimmed, candles were lit and the tree was bright. My aunt Nancy had lit the candles just for me, hoping to make it feel warm and Christmassy. My uncle has said, at least 4 or 5 times since I've gotten here, how wonderful it is to have me and my family with them for Christmas. My cousin, Lacey, went on a hunt for a fan and laid it on my bed for my arrival, because she knows I need white noise to sleep. Happiness continually asks, "Where's my Crystal?" always making me feel wanted. Paul gives me warm bear hugs whenever he sees me. This is my second family. I began writing the post below before I arrived... But now I just have to attempt to finish it. I love this family beyond what words can accurately describe, but I'll do my best in a simple blog post.

My dad passed away on the cusp of the holiday season of 1993. The way I often describe the feeling in our home and lives after my dad's death, especially the first year, is...winter. Dark, rainy, long nights, short days, wet, cold...hard. Winter. The feeling in our souls when my dad died was...winter. How would we make it through the dark? The sun felt so far away. Life was like a never-ending winter.

Lucky for us, the Peterson family, my Aunt Nancy (my mom's older sister) and Uncle Bob, invited us to Virginia to spend our first Christmas without my dad with them. They greeted us at the airport, and I'll never forget the smiles on their faces when we arrived. The two oldest cousins, Happy and Sundy, just gushed over us and hugged us, asking how we were and if we were excited for Christmas. The two younger cousins, Lacey and Paul, joyfully accepted us as well...excited for more friends. They brought the sun to our lives, melting the wintery feeling away. With their hugs, their laughter, their joy and excitement to have us there, their music and singing, their love. That Christmas was one that has been chiseled into my heart and memory. Sledding, singing at the DC temple visitor's center, belting Amy Grant lyrics in the car, playing games, touring the White House...it was magical. It brought the much-needed sunlight to our aching hearts.

The Peterson clan has been a source of sunlight for me ever since that time. I've lived with them twice in my life. One specific time, in particular, they were a godsend, and it wasn't a coincidence I was living with them when I did. I deeply struggled to maintain happiness and love for myself during that year, and they showered me with nothing but love and acceptance. They saved me.

I feel so lucky and blessed to spend Christmas with them and my family this year. It always feels like warm summer with the Petersons. Their home is filled with music and singing, Christmas decorations, And the feeling of the Savior's love. And let's not forget...goodies, lots and lots of goodies, many of which are dropped off by the multitude of friends they have acquired throughout  the years of their generosity and outpouring of love to others.

My heart is seriously full this Christmas season. I truly hope I can bring as much joy to people's lives as the Peterson's have brought to mine and my family's. I'm so thankful for the joy of the Savior's birth, and how Heavenly Father puts people in our lives to help us recognize that miraculous joy, even in the darkest of times.

Merry Christmas!!