Spotlight

I have this friend.

Yes, Julia, the spotlight's on you.

So, anyway, I have this friend...Julia.

Why am I writing a blog post about Julia? No clue. Except that she inspires me. So I thought I'd devote a whole flippin' post to her.

Many people inspire me, so maybe one day, I will spotlight all of them. And many people have been spotlighted in the past. Please refer here, here, here, here, here, here, here and let's not forget here for past spotlights.But anyway, back to this spotlight.

Julia Lewis. Now words can describe this girl. She's real. She's cool. She's real cool. :) She's chill. She's so down to earth. She's genuine. She's without guile. She's herself.

Now sure. Everyone has imperfections. So I'll go ahead and name a few of Julia's.......... Just kidding! :) I wouldn't know what to name, but I'm sure she has them. :)

But really, while she has had struggles, and no one is perfect, this is a girl I want to be like. Mainly because, she knows who she is. The light of Christ shines all over her face. She chooses her time wisely, but can still let loose and relax and have fun.

We have our "things"...just as I do with most of my friends. She taught me the yumminess of scookies (a huge cookie taken right out of the oven, with ice cream put immediately on top so it kind of starts to melt...RIGHT ON THE COOKIE SHEET. No need for bowls or plates.) And watching one of the greatest chick flicks ever, The Lake House. And eating at Craigo's Pizza.

She reads and ponders her scriptures nearly every day. (Or...she did when I was her roommate.) She volunteered as a grandparent person...(sorry, Julia, I don't know the technical name for it.) But it's where she'd go visit older people and hang out with them...every week. In fact, I think she's in charge of that organization now. Or, I could be making that up. But whatever.

She just wrote a blog post about the fun she had helping underprivileged girls in Chicago for the summer.

She's just good, through and through. I never feel judged by her. Never. I'm 5 years older than Julia, and I probably should have set a better example for her while living with her, but she set the example for me. Oh yeah, and she never seems to talk negatively about people.

One of my favorite memories with Julia is of us driving home one snowy winter day...actually, two days. We're both from Oregon, so I was giving her a ride home from Rexburg for Christmas vacation. And, let's face it...Julia is probably a bit more spiritually refined than I am. It was snowing hard. And Chuck and my mom were in the van in front of us. And it was getting dark. And I couldn't see anything. Literally...could not see a thing. I had told Chuck to drive slowly so I could see his tail lights, but he kept speeding up ahead of us. And my windshield wipers would stop every once in a while...and my tires felt like they were going to fall off, and the fluid in my car wouldn't squirt out to wipe off all the slushy mud that was hitting my windshield...and, well, I was SCARED and thought we were going to die. Julia was beside me, and my solution, instead of praying...was swearing. Yeah. I was swearing up a freakin' storm. Did Julia judge me? No. Or, maybe she did...and I just didn't know. She just tried to remain calm...and I think she laughed a couple of times. And then, all of the sudden I was like, "Dang, we're gonna die...I really need to read The Book of Mormon more." And Julia busted up laughing. Her laughing eased my tension. And then, I think I started praying instead of swearing.

But seriously...I never felt judged by her. She's good. Good to the core.

This good girl just got engaged to a man I can only hope is good like her. But, I think good attracts good. I'm so excited for her.

So, Julia, thanks for being you...and the quiet example of the Savior that you are. I've needed you in my life.

And....spotlight over. I've gotta go to the bathroom.

Something on my mind

My belief in my religion is not proof based. Therefore, I'm getting a tad impatient with people's attempt to disprove my religion (my own grandmother included in those "people"). You can't disprove something that isn't proven. I don't believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ as taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true because it's been proven true by man. I believe it to be true because the Spirit has born witness to my heart that it's true. You can't disprove that.

With that said, I'd also like to state that I don't believe in my religion because man tells me to believe it. I believe it because I've talked to God about it.

My brother-in-law, Matt, recently had a priesthood meeting with Elder Nelson, a member of the quorum of the 12 apostles. In this meeting, Elder Nelson was confronted about the issue of black members of the church unable to hold the priesthood until the '70s. Elder Nelson said that, while the doctrine of the church is always true and perfect, the policies are not always true and perfect. Elder Nelson said that in the case of withholding the priesthood from black men, the policy was incorrect.

Allow me to be so bold as to say, in other words...the brethren were incorrect in withholding the priesthood from black men, according to what Elder Nelson recently said in this meeting (a meeting in which I was not in attendance. So, yes...we must take that into account. I'm hearing his words through my brother-in-law, who was there in person.)

This isn't really news to me, however. But it's news to some, I'm sure. See, we as Latter-day Saints like to bury any negative things affiliated with our church deep deep in the ground as to not taint the church's image or taint our testimonies. My feeling is, however, nothing can change my testimony. Because my testimony, you see, is not founded on man...it is founded on Christ. Christ is the head of this church, but men...flesh...humans...run it under his watch. And, sometimes...men make mistakes. Do the mistakes of men disprove the reality of the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Nope. They don't.

The blacks/priesthood issue is not the only confusing thing in our church's history. If you were to take some time to research, you'd find all sorts of surprising things. ALL SORTS. You don't have an apostate grandma and serve a mission in the South without discovering some of these "surprising" things. But again, I've never claimed to have perfect human beings running the church to which I belong. I've claimed to be a part of Christ's church, but until Christ is here himself, running it in person, mistakes will be made...on multiple levels, I'm sure. The gospel and the doctrine, however, will remain perfect.

I've experienced some things in the last 10 years of my life...some things that the majority of my friends and acquaintances are unaware of...that could have pushed me away from the church, had I let them. Those experiences still linger with me to this day. And, as Amy Grant says, "I'd be lying if I said I had not tried to leave a time or two...but every road that leads me, leads me back to you." "You" being God...and God always leads me to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have contemplated what it would be like to leave. I've toyed with the idea. And sometimes, it seems very appealing. If that makes you think less of me, well...I apologize for that and commend you for your unwavering faith. Honestly, I do. It's a gift of the Spirit to be unwavering in your faith, and I'm grateful for people with such a gift.

Although, I wouldn't say my faith was wavering...but maybe my patience...which is a Christ-like attribute, one that I continually need to work on, because my flesh is weak and gets in the way of my spirit.

But the fact remains, no matter how much my patience is tried, I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that does not seem to go away. I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Jesus Christ's church established in the latter days, and I do believe that good, righteous men of God hold God's power, and guide His church with that power. No amount of "mistakes" or "discoveries" will disprove my testimony.

I love...

I LOVE making people laugh!!!

Oh my gosh, like seriously. It's one of my favorite things ever. And I love to laugh. So it's great when I can make someone laugh, and then the fact that they're laughing makes me laugh. And then we're both just busting a gut. Best. Feeling. Ever.

I also love the fact that after tonight, I'll be FREE from tests, projects, presentations and assignments....for a whole month and a half! Until I start up my film-production program.

I'm going to do the BIGGEST happy dance when today is over!

Okay, back to studying. Buh bye now.

Guitar Friend

I miss my guitar. This is the only picture I could find of me with it. I'm listening to Ingrid Michaelson right now...she's just strumming away at her guitar. And all I can think is, 'I want my guitar.' Like, it's making me ache.

So, it's probably a good thing I'll be reunited with it soon. I didn't bring it to D.C. with me because of money...or lack thereof. But it will definitely be accompanying me to Seattle.

It's a piece of me...like an arm or a leg. I'm missing a ligament. :)

Anyway. I'm going to New York next weekend. It will be the greatest trip known to man. And then, I'll say goodbye to D.C. on the 15th. Bitter/sweet, but definitely more sweet than bitter.

I just realized...I've never named my guitar. Do you think I should? Is it like a boat? Does it need a name? Does that mean I don't love it that much?

Maybe I'll call it Guitar Friend. :)

Life News

Hey friends.

Me again. The author of this blog.

I've decided to make an announcement. I have yet to announce it on Facebook. The blog will be my first place of self-disclosure...for this particular piece of life news...on the Internet.

I bought a plane ticket, I'm packin' up my bags...and I'm saying goodbye to D.C.

I really don't feel like going into a long explanation about this...so I'll try to keep this brief.

So...moral of the story is, I don't like it here. I don't really like the Georgetown program. I never have liked investigative reporting...and I was taking a major wild shot in the dark thinking this program would be different from all other journalism programs in the world.

I don't like living in D.C. And I don't like how expensive it is. I don't like the competitive atmosphere and I don't like the corporate world.

Let's be honest. I don't want to be a journalist. I never did. Not the hard-core investigative type, anyway. I've felt uneasy ever since moving here...anxious...unsettled. I know I was supposed to come out here...but I wasn't supposed to stay out here. I believe I pursued this path in order help me figure out what I really wanted and to confirm things in my heart and mind.

So...do I have a plan? Yes.

I applied to a film/video production certificate program at University of Washington in Seattle. I was accepted. It's a 9-month program, and it starts in October.

I'd love to have my own business one day...creating history documentaries of people's deceased loved ones. I think people would pay for that service. Maybe I'm kidding myself. BUT, I don't think so. Plus, video production skills are highly beneficial in any communication job, and it would up my chances of getting a job with any company...any news company, any big name corporation like Microsoft or Disney...I want this skill.

I may pursue a Master's at UW in a year too...not sure about that yet. But it would be in digital communications...which would also be highly beneficial. And it's $20,000 cheaper than Georgetown.

And...I love the Northwest. I'll be within a half hour of my sister, and three hours from my parents and step-sibs. I love the lifestyle and weather and scenery.

So, I'm throwing in the towel on D.C. and Georgetown...and I couldn't. Be. Happier.

It feels different

This whole "grandpa dying" thing feels different from how I ever thought it would.

I didn't get to see my grandpa very often tin his last few years of life. I wish I had visited him more while I lived in Portland for the year that I did...he only lived 45 minutes away. But life gets busy and you make excuses not to have to fight the traffic after work every day.

When a grandparent dies, the first thing that comes out of people's mouths is, "Oh, I'm sorry...were you close?"

I find this to be an interesting question. I know why it's asked. I've probably asked that of people in the past. But it kind of minimizes the depth of pain a person may be feeling. Like, "Oh...wait, I'm gonna hold off on my sympathy because it's just a grandparent...unless, of course, you tell me you were close."

For me, I can confidently answer that question with a "yes, we were close." No, we didn't have long chats on the phone....I didn't call him up every week to see how he was doing. But when I did call, we would chat. And when I did visit, we had sweet, tender times.

As a child, I spent a LOT of time with him. When my dad was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, we moved from Germany to Oregon really quickly, and we lived with my grandma and grandpa Perry for a little while while we looked for our own place to live. We spent a lot of time with them, even after we moved into our own apartment...because we lived so close, and my mom and dad needed a lot of help with us.

I have many sweet memories with my grandpa. Picking cherries off of the tree in their back yard, picking tomatoes out of his garden (he was a master gardener), making Micky Mouse pancakes with him...using chocolate chips for the eyes, mouth and nose. Watching him as he'd carve out my next craft project from a fresh batch of wood. Bouncing on his knee as he sang, "This is the way the gentleman rides, clipidy-clop, clipidy-clop......." Building wooden steps down to the little cabin he and his sons built in the woods. Sitting by the fire, coloring in the cabin. The cabin was made out of cedar wood...so everything smelled of cedar. :) Going camping and crabbing with him. Attending jazz festivals at the coast with him. He loved jazz music.

My grandparents showed up to every major event in my life. Every birthday. Every band concert (or most of them.) Graduation...mission farewell...mission homecoming. They weren't members of my church. They used to be, long ago, but they haven't been for as long as I can remember. But still, they came to all my functions at the church. My grandpa stepped in during "daddy-daughter" dances before Chuck came into my life. He's ALWAYS been there.

And this fact...the fact that he's always been there...is a big deal for me. Because my own dad wasn't there. But my dad's dad was always there. He was the extension of my dad. I knew, because my grandpa loved me so much, that my dad must love me that much as well.

So were we close? Yes. Was he old? Yes. Does that lessen the pain? No. Do I miss him? Yes. Am I extremely sad? Yes.

BUT, it sooths my heart to know he's having a little reunion with my dad, my uncle (who also passed away the same year my dad died...yeah...our family is cursed or something) and his parents. In fact, my grandpa's mom died when he was only 7, so he's waited a loooong time to get to see her again. I would have LOVED to have witnessed that reunion.

God lives. He sent his son. The Savior suffered, died, and then rose again. Because of that miracle, we'll all live again. This, I know to be true.

Goodbye

My grandpa died today.

I put this video together for him...kind of as a grieving thing for me. It soothed my heart a bit.

I love and miss him.