Something on my mind

My belief in my religion is not proof based. Therefore, I'm getting a tad impatient with people's attempt to disprove my religion (my own grandmother included in those "people"). You can't disprove something that isn't proven. I don't believe the Gospel of Jesus Christ as taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true because it's been proven true by man. I believe it to be true because the Spirit has born witness to my heart that it's true. You can't disprove that.

With that said, I'd also like to state that I don't believe in my religion because man tells me to believe it. I believe it because I've talked to God about it.

My brother-in-law, Matt, recently had a priesthood meeting with Elder Nelson, a member of the quorum of the 12 apostles. In this meeting, Elder Nelson was confronted about the issue of black members of the church unable to hold the priesthood until the '70s. Elder Nelson said that, while the doctrine of the church is always true and perfect, the policies are not always true and perfect. Elder Nelson said that in the case of withholding the priesthood from black men, the policy was incorrect.

Allow me to be so bold as to say, in other words...the brethren were incorrect in withholding the priesthood from black men, according to what Elder Nelson recently said in this meeting (a meeting in which I was not in attendance. So, yes...we must take that into account. I'm hearing his words through my brother-in-law, who was there in person.)

This isn't really news to me, however. But it's news to some, I'm sure. See, we as Latter-day Saints like to bury any negative things affiliated with our church deep deep in the ground as to not taint the church's image or taint our testimonies. My feeling is, however, nothing can change my testimony. Because my testimony, you see, is not founded on man...it is founded on Christ. Christ is the head of this church, but men...flesh...humans...run it under his watch. And, sometimes...men make mistakes. Do the mistakes of men disprove the reality of the Gospel of Jesus Christ? Nope. They don't.

The blacks/priesthood issue is not the only confusing thing in our church's history. If you were to take some time to research, you'd find all sorts of surprising things. ALL SORTS. You don't have an apostate grandma and serve a mission in the South without discovering some of these "surprising" things. But again, I've never claimed to have perfect human beings running the church to which I belong. I've claimed to be a part of Christ's church, but until Christ is here himself, running it in person, mistakes will be made...on multiple levels, I'm sure. The gospel and the doctrine, however, will remain perfect.

I've experienced some things in the last 10 years of my life...some things that the majority of my friends and acquaintances are unaware of...that could have pushed me away from the church, had I let them. Those experiences still linger with me to this day. And, as Amy Grant says, "I'd be lying if I said I had not tried to leave a time or two...but every road that leads me, leads me back to you." "You" being God...and God always leads me to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have contemplated what it would be like to leave. I've toyed with the idea. And sometimes, it seems very appealing. If that makes you think less of me, well...I apologize for that and commend you for your unwavering faith. Honestly, I do. It's a gift of the Spirit to be unwavering in your faith, and I'm grateful for people with such a gift.

Although, I wouldn't say my faith was wavering...but maybe my patience...which is a Christ-like attribute, one that I continually need to work on, because my flesh is weak and gets in the way of my spirit.

But the fact remains, no matter how much my patience is tried, I have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that does not seem to go away. I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Jesus Christ's church established in the latter days, and I do believe that good, righteous men of God hold God's power, and guide His church with that power. No amount of "mistakes" or "discoveries" will disprove my testimony.