I never fall in love?
I'm starting to feel incapable of falling in love.
How's that for your negative Thursday musings?
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
Find What You Are Looking For
Probably my all-time favorite song.
Not that you care, but recent public events surrounding my church have caused me to, once again in my life, reach out, try to understand, and try to bridge the gaps between myself and those with whom I don't necessarily agree. There may be law and there may be a right and wrong, but everyone is given different paths in life...and come to conclusions in different ways and on different time tables. I honestly, truthfully cannot KNOW who I would be or what choices I would make, or how long it would take me to come to certain conclusions had I been given a different pair of shoes. I thank God for the shoes I was given, and I hope to spend my time in these shoes actively bridging gaps instead of passively passing judgment on people who wear different shoes than I.
Not that you care, but recent public events surrounding my church have caused me to, once again in my life, reach out, try to understand, and try to bridge the gaps between myself and those with whom I don't necessarily agree. There may be law and there may be a right and wrong, but everyone is given different paths in life...and come to conclusions in different ways and on different time tables. I honestly, truthfully cannot KNOW who I would be or what choices I would make, or how long it would take me to come to certain conclusions had I been given a different pair of shoes. I thank God for the shoes I was given, and I hope to spend my time in these shoes actively bridging gaps instead of passively passing judgment on people who wear different shoes than I.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
The Biggest Loser
I'm writing from the bus again.
Well, it's finally happened. I finally no longer feel the need to publish every thought in my head. Because I've gotten rid of Facebook, I've had more time to think, ponder, strengthen relationships with people physically present in my life (because I share my thoughts with them and we can have a legit conversation about it) and I read so much more! I thought I'd just blog more with the lack of Facebook, but blogging takes time...and time is so hard to come by these days.
I worked a 10.5 - day today with no lunch break. My 10-day vacation in New Zealand can't come soon enough. And oh wait, I leave this Saturday!!! Sheri (the friend with whom I'm going) has been sending me a count down for the last couple weeks. We're like 3 days away, people! Cray-zay! I just finished shopping at the downtown Target...where I bought a new backpack and travel stuff. I'm excited. :)
I've been doing online dating. Just like blogging...I tend to avoid it because it takes time and brain power. But I don't regret the choice to do it. I'm talking full-blown, paid-for LDS online dating. If anything, it's at least helping me realize I'm not totally repulsive to decent Mormon men. I was starting to wonder.... I dated last year...but the two men I dated were not Mormon.
I hate the show The Biggest Loser. HATE it. I've tried watching it before and it makes me feel sick...literally sick to my stomach. And uncomfortable. And depressed. And sad. Human beings are put on display in front of millions of people (akin to zoo animals), tortured and forced to do crazy things (akin to circus animals) and we call it inspiring. They are real people with real lives. The show is unhealthy, unrealistic, and irresponsible. I've always hated the show, because it's basically treating human beings like lab rats, and causes weight biases. But I definitely hate the show now after the controversy of the last winner. We call her too fat...and then we call her too skinny. Who are we anyway? No matter what the size of the contestant, those tactics are unhealthy and will never last long term. America wants everything fast and magical. It's ridiculous to think you can fix a problem with the same problem (ie. fast food and pre-packaged crap with over training and obsessively counting calories...replacing fast with fast...magic with magic). These things take time. The brain needs time to catch up to the physicality of it all...or THEY WILL FAIL and revert...or go too far the opposite direction.
End rant.
Life is good. Hope y'all's lives are good too. :)
Well, it's finally happened. I finally no longer feel the need to publish every thought in my head. Because I've gotten rid of Facebook, I've had more time to think, ponder, strengthen relationships with people physically present in my life (because I share my thoughts with them and we can have a legit conversation about it) and I read so much more! I thought I'd just blog more with the lack of Facebook, but blogging takes time...and time is so hard to come by these days.
I worked a 10.5 - day today with no lunch break. My 10-day vacation in New Zealand can't come soon enough. And oh wait, I leave this Saturday!!! Sheri (the friend with whom I'm going) has been sending me a count down for the last couple weeks. We're like 3 days away, people! Cray-zay! I just finished shopping at the downtown Target...where I bought a new backpack and travel stuff. I'm excited. :)
I've been doing online dating. Just like blogging...I tend to avoid it because it takes time and brain power. But I don't regret the choice to do it. I'm talking full-blown, paid-for LDS online dating. If anything, it's at least helping me realize I'm not totally repulsive to decent Mormon men. I was starting to wonder.... I dated last year...but the two men I dated were not Mormon.
I hate the show The Biggest Loser. HATE it. I've tried watching it before and it makes me feel sick...literally sick to my stomach. And uncomfortable. And depressed. And sad. Human beings are put on display in front of millions of people (akin to zoo animals), tortured and forced to do crazy things (akin to circus animals) and we call it inspiring. They are real people with real lives. The show is unhealthy, unrealistic, and irresponsible. I've always hated the show, because it's basically treating human beings like lab rats, and causes weight biases. But I definitely hate the show now after the controversy of the last winner. We call her too fat...and then we call her too skinny. Who are we anyway? No matter what the size of the contestant, those tactics are unhealthy and will never last long term. America wants everything fast and magical. It's ridiculous to think you can fix a problem with the same problem (ie. fast food and pre-packaged crap with over training and obsessively counting calories...replacing fast with fast...magic with magic). These things take time. The brain needs time to catch up to the physicality of it all...or THEY WILL FAIL and revert...or go too far the opposite direction.
End rant.
Life is good. Hope y'all's lives are good too. :)
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Nashville
So, I got into the show "Nashville" last year. It's in its second season. The musical talent on that show is unbelievable. Seriously. Just look up Lennon and Maisy Stella (they're sisters) on YouTube. Or Sam Palladio and Clare Bowen singing "Fade Into You." My word...talent. I love that this show creates and produces its own music, and that all the stars sing all their own songs.
Anyway....
This song was on an episode two weeks ago...and I'm obsessed. I can't wait until I can get a clean version (without the dramatic scenes and talking in between). :) Love it.
Anyway....
This song was on an episode two weeks ago...and I'm obsessed. I can't wait until I can get a clean version (without the dramatic scenes and talking in between). :) Love it.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
The latest haps, brought to you from route 77
I never want to take the time to blog when I'm at home. By the time I work my overtime, hit the gym and bus home...all I want to do is cook my dinner, watch some YouTube clips and hit the sack. Or chat with the roommies. Or do some random church activity, which seem to be filling all my evenings lately.
So, I'm blogging on the bus.
We're about a month into the year. I'm making progress on ny desires. I'm not sure I can remember them all off the top of my head. But, I've remained deactivated from Facebook...and oh, how sweet it feels. We're getting closer to NZ. I've tried to call someone I love every week. I was finally called to schedule an interview with Big Brothers Big Sisters...so I'm hoping that works out, which would be a 12-month commitment, not just 4 months like my goal. I'm backup for a Ragnar team if anyone drops out. Switched which half I plan to run, haven't signed up yet though. I finished a biography and am on my second. I've attended the temple this month. Is that 8? I think those are all my desires for 2014, and I'm doing well...one day at a time. :) I guess they're not all my desires...but the majority of the ones I can control. :)
Life has had its ups and downs this month...as always. I've been reminded that no matter how hard I try to make a make-shift family, nothing will be as stable as finding an eternal companion and starting my own. However, I'm still very thankful for all the wonderful people God continually puts in my life.
And...that's it for this morning. From bus route 77 into downtown Seattle, this is Crystal Noel, signing off. :) Happy day, everyone.
So, I'm blogging on the bus.
We're about a month into the year. I'm making progress on ny desires. I'm not sure I can remember them all off the top of my head. But, I've remained deactivated from Facebook...and oh, how sweet it feels. We're getting closer to NZ. I've tried to call someone I love every week. I was finally called to schedule an interview with Big Brothers Big Sisters...so I'm hoping that works out, which would be a 12-month commitment, not just 4 months like my goal. I'm backup for a Ragnar team if anyone drops out. Switched which half I plan to run, haven't signed up yet though. I finished a biography and am on my second. I've attended the temple this month. Is that 8? I think those are all my desires for 2014, and I'm doing well...one day at a time. :) I guess they're not all my desires...but the majority of the ones I can control. :)
Life has had its ups and downs this month...as always. I've been reminded that no matter how hard I try to make a make-shift family, nothing will be as stable as finding an eternal companion and starting my own. However, I'm still very thankful for all the wonderful people God continually puts in my life.
And...that's it for this morning. From bus route 77 into downtown Seattle, this is Crystal Noel, signing off. :) Happy day, everyone.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
No more Facebook...bring on 2014!
Well friends, I took the plunge. I've deactivated my Facebook account, and I'm not sure when I'll be back. Maybe in a couple weeks. Maybe in a month. Maybe in a year. Probably a month.... :)
Something about it was making me tired. It's overwhelming. I'm tired of viewing things everyone wants everyone to see. I'm also tired of the fact that I truly believe it's ruining sincere communication. I feel like people don't call me/answer my calls because they already know what's going on in my life through Facebook.... It's much easier to hide behind a screen and say mean and/or nice things to people. I'm just tired of the half-hearted, passive way of giving people approval or rejection. And...I'm also tired of texting being people's main form of communication. I'm guilty of it. But I'm tired of it.
So, quitting Facebook for a little while leads me into.....
2014 DESIRES
1) To run a half marathon
2) To stay off Facebook for at least a month
3) To call someone I love once a week (and not just the same person every week)
4) To travel outside of the country (not a 'walk across the boarder' type of thing)
5) To attend the temple monthly
6) To ***POSSIBLY*** run Ragnar (something akin to "Hood to Coast" for those of you familiar with that)
7) To read 5 biographies/creative nonfiction books
8) To find a nonprofit at which I can volunteer and stick with it consistently for at least 4 months out of the year
I think all these desires are worthy of becoming reality.
1--I've already got picked out. I haven't signed up yet, because I've been subjecting myself to staying on a very tight budget due to a forthcoming trip I'm taking, but I will sign up in the next month or two.
2--I've started the Facebook one. Maybe I'll knock this one out this first month of the year. :)
3--I'm hoping this one won't be too difficult. I'm also hoping it causes me to call people I miss because I'm not longer on facebook. I want to rekindle real connections with some of the people of my past.
4--This one is booked. New Zealand in March. I originally made this a "before I turn 30" goal, which coincidentally fits right along with my 2014 desires...since I turn 30 at the end of 2014.
5--Attending the temple monthly has been a desire/goal of mine for so long now, but I'm starting to really give it the effort it's deserved from me since being endowed. I haven't missed a month for the past few months, and I think I can keep it up. If I do miss a month or two in 2014, I know I'll at least improve vastly from my past track record. And that is thanks to the angels God is surrounding me with right now.
6--This one...I'm not making any promises to myself about. I JUST started thinking about this...as in, TODAY was the first day I even allowed my brain to entertain the idea. So, if anything, 2014 will at least be the year I start to mentally prepare to be a part of this type of race. BUT, who says it can't be the year I actually participate? We'll see. Ragnar is just a month after the half marathon I'll be running...so, I'm not sure how hard I want to push my body in that type of way. While I love running, I don't necessarily believe it's the best source of constant exercise. It's like having a giant lift me up and continually slam me to the ground over and over and over again. BUT, I enjoy it and there are benefits. And I feel extremely accomplished when I'm finished with a race.
7--I'm just really into learning about real things and real people's life experiences. This should be a simple one to achieve.
8--I've dabbled in nonprofits in the past. I'm on the waiting list for a program right now. But, I really want to get my hands dirty and lose my heart and soul in a good cause. This may be one of the hardest ones to turn into reality, but if I'm serious about returning to school in a specific field (that I'll talk about at a later time), I really need to start consistently volunteering.
So, there you have it. Bring on 2014! Bring on the last year in my 20s! Bring on life!
Something about it was making me tired. It's overwhelming. I'm tired of viewing things everyone wants everyone to see. I'm also tired of the fact that I truly believe it's ruining sincere communication. I feel like people don't call me/answer my calls because they already know what's going on in my life through Facebook.... It's much easier to hide behind a screen and say mean and/or nice things to people. I'm just tired of the half-hearted, passive way of giving people approval or rejection. And...I'm also tired of texting being people's main form of communication. I'm guilty of it. But I'm tired of it.
So, quitting Facebook for a little while leads me into.....
2014 DESIRES
1) To run a half marathon
2) To stay off Facebook for at least a month
3) To call someone I love once a week (and not just the same person every week)
4) To travel outside of the country (not a 'walk across the boarder' type of thing)
5) To attend the temple monthly
6) To ***POSSIBLY*** run Ragnar (something akin to "Hood to Coast" for those of you familiar with that)
7) To read 5 biographies/creative nonfiction books
8) To find a nonprofit at which I can volunteer and stick with it consistently for at least 4 months out of the year
I think all these desires are worthy of becoming reality.
1--I've already got picked out. I haven't signed up yet, because I've been subjecting myself to staying on a very tight budget due to a forthcoming trip I'm taking, but I will sign up in the next month or two.
2--I've started the Facebook one. Maybe I'll knock this one out this first month of the year. :)
3--I'm hoping this one won't be too difficult. I'm also hoping it causes me to call people I miss because I'm not longer on facebook. I want to rekindle real connections with some of the people of my past.
4--This one is booked. New Zealand in March. I originally made this a "before I turn 30" goal, which coincidentally fits right along with my 2014 desires...since I turn 30 at the end of 2014.
5--Attending the temple monthly has been a desire/goal of mine for so long now, but I'm starting to really give it the effort it's deserved from me since being endowed. I haven't missed a month for the past few months, and I think I can keep it up. If I do miss a month or two in 2014, I know I'll at least improve vastly from my past track record. And that is thanks to the angels God is surrounding me with right now.
6--This one...I'm not making any promises to myself about. I JUST started thinking about this...as in, TODAY was the first day I even allowed my brain to entertain the idea. So, if anything, 2014 will at least be the year I start to mentally prepare to be a part of this type of race. BUT, who says it can't be the year I actually participate? We'll see. Ragnar is just a month after the half marathon I'll be running...so, I'm not sure how hard I want to push my body in that type of way. While I love running, I don't necessarily believe it's the best source of constant exercise. It's like having a giant lift me up and continually slam me to the ground over and over and over again. BUT, I enjoy it and there are benefits. And I feel extremely accomplished when I'm finished with a race.
7--I'm just really into learning about real things and real people's life experiences. This should be a simple one to achieve.
8--I've dabbled in nonprofits in the past. I'm on the waiting list for a program right now. But, I really want to get my hands dirty and lose my heart and soul in a good cause. This may be one of the hardest ones to turn into reality, but if I'm serious about returning to school in a specific field (that I'll talk about at a later time), I really need to start consistently volunteering.
So, there you have it. Bring on 2014! Bring on the last year in my 20s! Bring on life!
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