Apology

I feel as though my blog posts as of late have been bitter, negative, and/or boring.

I'm sorry.

Let me explain the best way I know how. I can't and won't go into too much detail, but I'll try to explain.

Over the past couple of years I let my heart get really involved with a situation. Extremely involved. Anyone who knows me well knows that I allow my heart to get a little too involved in things/people too often. Like...I don't understand boundaries. I go overboard. That's what happened with this situation. I'm sorry if the word "situation" is vague, but it's about as far as I'm willing to go. I put a lot of energy, time, thought, TRUST, emotion and love into this situation.

This situation/experience made me think, feel and understand things in a completely different way. It kind of changed me. I saw things differently. Honestly...my views on certain topics have completely changed because of this experience/situation I invested in. Really, like I used to see things in a pink world...everything pink. And now, because of this situation, I see some things green, some things blue, some things yellow, some orange, some black...very little pink any more. Honestly...whole new colors have entered my world.

This is a good thing. And I believe the entire experience was inspired and needed. God knows me and knows what I needed...so He led me in that direction.

But, just because something's inspired or right, doesn't mean we always make the right decisions with it. My boundaries dropped too far, I got too involved...and it ended badly.

Thus, my energy, time, thought, trust, emotion and love were all given back to me, very abruptly.

And it turned me a little bit bitter. Honestly. For better or for worse, I've changed a bit. I'm not as trusting, open or as nice as I once was. Probably more trusting, open and nice than some people...but not as much as my old self.

I am, however, finally at a healing point. I'm so much better than I was a year ago, that's for sure.

Anyway, if this post is a little too emo, I'm sorry. My sister calls me "emo." Apparently that's the "in" word for emotional...overly dramatic. I guess you could say I am emotional and, more often than not, overly dramatic. I don't feel a lot of in-betweens...mostly just highs and lows. But hey...it's me.

So, I'm sorry for my boring, negative bitter blog posts. I don't want to be a negative, bitter person. So, here's my attempt to start fresh. Will you accept my blog explanation/apology?

We all go through stuff, right? :)