Change

I never quite understood how and why returning home from a mission could be so hard. Well, I still don't know for sure...it just is. I can't explain it. Life is not the same. Even if you've got the same people surrounding you, you're looking at life through a different pair of glasses now...a different shade. Plus, most likely, changes have taken place while you've been gone. So, you've got to desperately try to find your place in this new colored, changed world. You know...I don't even really know where I'm headed with this post. So, if you're still reading, you're in for a wild ride. I just know that the tears running down my cheeks needed to express themselves. So here we are.
I watched this last night. Can we say AMAZING? I hear the book is better...so I'll be reading it SOON. But, it definately brought on some homesickness for my southern home. I LOVE the South. I LOVE it. I really wouldn't mind living there again someday. I would love to own my own big southern home, with a huge front porch...and each night I'd sit out on my porch swing or rocking chair with the ceiling fans on while look out at the fire-flies as the night gets darker with a tall glass of lemmonade in my hand. Oh how I would love it.

Anyway...change. It's coming...coming like a tornado.
My studly little brother, Kevin, is graduating in June. WEIRD. He's not even 18 yet...he'll be 18 in August. He'll work through the Summer and Fall and then head to BYU-Idaho in the Winter. We'll probably be there at the same time...WEIRD. He's like 6 1/2 years younger than I. But, it should be fun. It's just crazy that NO ONE will be left at home. My step-dad, Chuck, has been raising kids for the past 40 years. His oldest kid is 40...and Kevin's the last. WOW. Kevin's a great brother. He's got an attitude sometimes...but who doesn't. :) We have this fun tradition...who know how it started. But every Christmas Eve he and I listen to the song "Lime in the Coconut." It's so much fun. We've been doing it for years. While I was on my mission, Kayleen and Kevin listened to it while thinking of me. Tender. I hope we can keep the tradition up for years and years...even when we both have families (hopefully) we can still do it over the phone. :)

Another BIG change...
Do NOT worry. This is NOT her dress...just something she tried on for fun. My little sister, Kayleen, is getting married. Kayleen's the coolest sister. I love her sass, her style, her taste in music (maybe not for me all of the time, but I love it for her, if that makes sense) and who she's become. She's the coolest of the cool. Lucky for me, she's marrying a guy that I really like, Bobby Ulrich. Bobby and I were best friends when we were 7 and 8 years old. He and Kayleen are perfect for eachother and I'm blessed to feel extremely comfortable around them. I really enjoy spending time with them and I couldn't ask for a better brother-in-law.

Yet, I can't help feeling a little sad as the day approaches. Just because everything is CHANGING. No more threesome...me, Kayleen, and Kevin. I feel that we're a pretty close bunch of siblings, especially because of the circumstances we grew up under...the sickness of our dad, the death of our dad, the single parenting of our mother, and being thrown into a blended family. I love them tons and tons and believe that I have the best brother and sister in the world. Hopefully, as my brother and sister move on in life, I too can find my place in this world. I've been home for 9 months now...that's a whole pregnancy! I have some goals, some aspirations...so let's hope that in the next 9 months I'll have them well underway.

OH, and if you haven't commented on my post below...PLEASE do. Thanks friends. :)