Meet the strong, single, career-driven female Mormon

Where was that in the movie?

Okay okay, "Meet the Mormons" was a great movie. It really was. It inspired me on many levels, and kind of left me with a feeling of admiration for people of all faiths and cultures, honestly. Obviously every Latter-day Saint story can't be represented in a 78-minute documentary. But they did clearly stay away from the more controversial lifestyles that do exist within the church. I'll skip discussing some obvious controversial Mormon lifestyles, and I'll just stick to the category I find myself in at the moment.

While watching that movie I sadly couldn't help but feel a little left out of the club. Again, I will say that the movie was beautifully made, well-rounded culturally wise, inspirational and did move me to tears. But the honest truth is, I felt a little left out...and walked away with a "wanting" feeling. This church is focused on families. That movie was focused on families. Sure, a what-seemed-to-be strong female career woman opened and closed the film, but we don't know her background...and her story was not told.

I'm truthfully not trying to be controversial. Again, I realize every Latter-day Saint's story cannot be portrayed. But these are my feelings and thoughts...this is my blog...so, I'm sharing.

I have spent the better part of the last two years doing ALL in my power to follow the counsel of the brethren and find an eternal companion. It's not like I haven't tried in years past, but I have been very actively putting my time and energy into fulfilling one of the biggest, if not THE biggest commandments ever given. Go to church...it's centered on marriage and family. Go to the temple...it's centered on marriage and family. I'm ready to fit in, eternally progress, and start experiencing my God-given divine role as a wife and mother. Not to mention, I'm ready to have companionship in this lonely, cold, tiring world in which we've been placed.

Since moving to Seattle I have physically dated two non-Mormon men and three Mormon men. I have conversed with at length, through online dating, at least four or more Mormon men. I have attended game nights, parties, FHEs and whatever other awful YSA social gatherings you can think of. And still, here I am, the strong, capable, very single, career-focused Latter-day Saint woman writing this blog post.

This last year brought high hopes. It started off with me meeting an LDS man online, hitting it off very well through emails and phone conversation...and then weeks of dating semi-long distance (we lived 3 hours apart). Needless to say, it didn't work out. We wanted it to, but it just didn't fit...and believe me, you can't force something that doesn't fit. And I swear if I hear "Any two worthy LDS people can make a marriage work" one more time, I'm going to take a fork and jam it in my ear. Easy for you to say when you found the love of your life at age 18 or 21. While we're on the topic of jamming forks in our ears...please don't let me hear the words "Gosh, live it up while you can. You're only single once" come out of your mouth. That, too, is VERY easy to say when you only had a couple short years to wonder if you'd spend the rest of your life alone. Anyway...

Then I dated a man who I really started to see possibility with... We dated for a few months, but due to reasons I don't feel at liberty to discuss in this forum, the relationship ended...pretty recently.

I am single. Not for lack of trying. Not for lack of wanting. Not for lack of faith. But because it is the plan God has for me right now in this time of my life. And I'm doing my very best to keep it together, to enjoy life, to progress, to remain selfless, and to find the proper balance of not obsessing over something that I clearly cannot control but taking the proper action steps of faith to show God my desires.

So, here I sit, pondering the movie I just saw. Loving it for the truth it brought...but wishing I was represented. I've lived my life decently righteously. I've dotted my I's and crossed my T's. And not necessarily to gain anything. I live the Gospel because I believe it, I love it, I feel it. But sometimes I do wish that I fit in better. I wish I had a more firm place. I wish my voice was heard a bit more. Not just as a single woman who believes and has faith one day she'll get married and have children...but the voice of a single woman who knows she may never get married and have children, but still finds belonging, still finds purpose, still finds love and still finds acceptance. I know it's there, but open, public support is sure nice to receive sometimes.

So there's that for honesty. I love this Gospel and I love this church. And I only hope that we can all continue to reach out beyond our own personal little bubbles and appreciate the unique strengths we all can bring to the church table.