What We Do

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Makes me happy to sing with them.

Tickets

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'd like to announce two amazing purchases I recently made.

Purchase #1: A ticket to this lovely event...



Yes. Amy and her good friend, Michael, are coming to the my area on September 16. FINALLY. And not really even my area...more like Washington. And I'm driving 3 hours. But I haven't seen this woman live for 8 years. It's going to be beautiful. I'm a big Michael fan as well. So, this will be one heck of a treat. My excitement is indescribable. The word "excitement" is just ridiculously insignificant compared to how I really feel. So, I'm not even going to try to explain it. I'll let you imagine it.

Purchase #2: A ticket to these lovely places...




The Mississippi sign is right. It's EXACTLY like "coming home." I'll be going "home" June 22-28. Beautiful. Can't wait to soak in that southern air and hug those beautiful people.

Who knew purchasing a few pieces of paper could be so beautiful? Best purchases I've made in a long time.

10,000 Stones

I love this song. It graced my ears at work one day while I was listening to my Ingrid Michaelson Pandora station. I think the words perfectly etch out so many people's feelings... Loving, losing, making mistakes, carrying other people's burdens, learning, growing. I love it. Definitely the song of the week...possibly of the year. :)

Secret

No one seems to know this. I didn't know this until my college years, and only then because of my chosen educational path. So, once you know, you notice the mistake everywhere...because no one seems to know it. It's a pretty well kept secret. But I'm about to unleash this powerful hidden fact. :)

The period always goes inside the quotation marks. Always. It doesn't matter if it's a complete sentence, or just quotes surrounding the last word in the sentence. The period always goes inside the quotation marks.

Sentence example: She said, "I love my dog."

Word example: I just want to be "friends."

Notice, the period is inside the quotation marks on both examples...not outside.

I know...it's a crazy thought. Especially the one word example. But it's the truth. I have plenty of editing/grammar books and writing/English/editing classes to back me up on this.

When in doubt, the period always always always goes inside the quotation marks. Now...the question mark is another story. That will be the next revealed secret. :)

Movies and life

I've watched a couple of movies lately. They've put my thinking wheels in motion.

Movie One: Eat Pray Love

I would post a picture (because, let's face it, pics always make people more interested in reading...) but I'm creating this blog post with my phone...and it doesn't like posting pics as well as my computer does.

Thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Like, extremely. Which, I was surprised, because it didn't get amazing reviews, nor did it stay in the theaters very long. So, I was expecting to get bored. Nope. Loved it. Why? Because I have felt, am feeling, or could vividly imagine feeling everything she was feeling. It was an extremely raw and real movie to me...which I'm a big fan of.

The thoughts it has spurred in my brain are these....

I think I need to find myself. I don't know who the heck I even am. I'm sick of being labeled as the "emotional one" or the "talker" or the "deep feeler" or the "person who plays it safe." Sometimes I label myself; sometimes others label me. Whether or not those descriptions fit me, why must they be my labels? I'm many different things at many different times with many different feelings going through many different experiences. Labels labels labels. Black, white. Democrat, Republican. Gay, straight. Sane, insane. Honestly....we're all just children of God. Can a label really define a person? No. There's so much more. Anyway...sometimes, more for other people's safety, I feel like I should just get lost somewhere. Truly discover who I am as a daughter of God...my potential. Meet a whole new group of people, be surrounded by a whole new environment, face unexpected and new situations. I want to get lost for a while. I probably don't NEED to in order to find myself (which, I'm sure is one of the debates this movie may cause) but it sure would be nice.

Movie Two: Soul Surfer

Cheesy. I went and saw it in the theater by myself...as part of my quest to find myself. Haha...going to a movie by myself...so adventurous. :) While it was loaded with cheese, I loved it. First, I absolutly love Helen Hunt. Favorite actress, hands down. But, it too, had a "find yourself" sort of feel. Both movies are true stories. This one about the girl who lost her arm while surfing...from a shark attack.

Thoughts it spurred....

Much of the same as movie one. Similar "find yourself...who you really are when all is stripped away" type feel. Except, it emphasised in me my love for music and the gratitude I have for the passion I feel for it. It also made clear to me that I always need to be doing what I love because I love it...and for good, true pure reasons. Not to forget who I am in anything...and never to seek praise.

So...Eat Pray Love and Soul Surfer. Who knew.

This week's song...

Think what you want about Grey's Anatomy...and about me for watching the show. It moves me. So, ever since its musical episode, this song/scene has been on my mind. I think they do a beautiful job. Powerful.

I did it.

I got rid of facebook. Yes, we all know I'll go back. Come on...I'm a communication freak...planning on getting a Masters in communications. And communications is all about the latest media technology/forms of communicating. BUT, for the time being, I'm calling it quits. It depressed me more than anything. I need some peace...

I'm keeping the blog though. I need some kind of outlet. :)

By the way...I will not commit to an amount of time I'm staying off facebook. Don't laugh if you see me back on in a week... :)

Question

Does time really heal wounds...or does it just make you forget them?

This thought has plagued me lately...as a wave of old pain recently washed over me, making it seem like I was flung back in time...

Thoughts?

If you're happy and you know it...

Sing a song! Here's my song of the week.

I wish...

I wish people would give Idaho a chance. It's so beautiful, if you just look for the beauty. There's something to be said for space. Space is needed. It's freeing. It allows your mind to rest and your heart to soar. No, it is not the green of Portland with the layers and layers of green hills and trees, but it does have its own unique beauty to offer to the human eye and soul.

Space. I like space. The only place I can truly find space at home is the ocean. And I do love the ocean. But, I love Idaho too. Especially in the summer, when the fields are green and the the sky is blue...

Idaho deserves a chance. Discover its beauty. :)

Balance

I had the privilege of viewing and/or listening to the four sessions of General Conference this weekend, and I was even able to listen to the Young Women's broadcast and the Priesthood session today on my phone while working.

I learned several things. But there's one thing I've been thinking about.

Marriage, and the desire for it.

Marriage was mentioned several times, and President Monson addressed it very strongly in the Priesthood session. It's always a similar message. "Men, get off your lazy/I-just-wanna-have-fun/I'm-too-afraid-to-commit-to-supporting-a-family butts, and go actively seek an eternal companion to take to the temple."

One talk, however, did quickly address how there are some women who aren't interested in marriage, but instead more interested in building their career.

All talks guided both men and women to actively seek marriage and to desire, pray for, and live worthy of a temple marriage.

So, here's my thing. Where's the balance for a woman? There comes a point where I believe it's healthy, I honestly believe it's healthy, for a woman to picture her earthly life without a man. JUST SO she can figure out what makes her happy and able to get through without just "getting through" and actually love life and make it fulfilling without being a wife and mother. Some women never get those opportunities, so they need to find ways to give their life meaning and purpose. I think it's healthy to think about those things.

But, at the same time, still desire it and actively seek it without getting so obsessed with it that you're just depressed when/if things don't work out the way you want them to or in your time frame.

I'm not sure I'm actively seeking it enough. By that, I mean, right now I really don't care. Honestly. It's funny really. I'm 26 and you'd think I'd be super depressed, because basically all of my friends, my age and even younger, are married with children. You'd think I'd be begging God every night for a husband. But, I don't. In fact, sometimes I go weeks without even mentioning marriage in my prayers, and then one night I'll remember, 'Oh yeah, I'm supposed to have active faith that I'll find an eternal companion,' so I then put it in my prayers.

I really figured this out a few months ago during a conversation I had with a friend. This friend was my roommate, and she's about 5 years younger than I...5 1/2, not even 21 yet. Anyway, we were talking about where we wanted to be in 5 years. She asked me first. I said, "Well, let's see... I'm really hoping in 5 years time I'll at least have a Masters. But I'd love to be working on a p.h.D and write on the side, freelancing for magazines. Maybe I'll even almost be done with my p.h.D in 5 years, and be looking for a college where I can teach." Then I said, "How about you?"

"Well, I'm hoping I'll be married and have a couple kids by then," she said. OH MY WORD!!! I busted a gut right then and there. I couldn't believe that marriage hadn't even crossed my mind while telling her my plans! Here she was, 20, telling me by the time she reached my age she wanted to be married with kids, and I didn't mention either.

This got me thinking. It's not that I don't want these things. They're beautiful things. Beautiful. It's not like I ignore men, or turn down dates when I'm asked. Shoot, I initiate conversations with guys and even invite random boys over for dinner without even knowing them that well! (Okay...not very often, but it's happened.) But, it's kind of this innate feeling I have. They won't be interested because no one has ever been interested before. And, even this thought is a lie, because I have had guys interested in me. BUUUUT...for one reason or another, it just NEVER works out. My relationships really never last long enough to even consider them relationships.

So, what am I getting at? I'm not sure. This definitely isn't a "pity me" post. Because, what I'm saying is, I don't care. I feel good. Yes, sometimes I long for companionship...for another soul to connect with my soul. But marriage? It's just something I don't think about anymore. It's a last thought. Not really on purpose, but it's just what has happened over the years. I'm not against it. It definitely is a desire and a hope. But it's not all I live for. Because if that's all I live for, I'll have a really unhappy life, unless it happens right now. Which it isn't. So...

Those are my thoughts. What is the balance? Yearn for it all the time...pray for it every night, constantly put myself out there and always have it in the back of my mind? I'm not sure I can do that...or should do that... But how do I not forget about it all together? Oh balance. I've never been good at moderation... My eating habits can attest to that fact. :)

With that said, here's my choice for the song of the week. I LOVE Ingrid Michaelson. LOVE her. She's my favorite right now (realizing that Amy Grant will ALWAYS be number one...everyone is always under her.) But Ingrid...Ingrid's great. More people need to know her. Get acquainted with her stuff. She's great.