Second: First Love

L-is for the way you look at me. O-is for the only one I see. V-is very very extraordinary, and E-is even more than anyone that you adore.

So, first love, huh? Well, really, how do we know who our first love is? Every time we love someone new, we think we love the new person ten times more than the last. But when we were in the last love, we thought that was the peak. So, it's really hard to say. I'll say this. My first actual human love was sweet, tender, scary, intimate, confusing, difficult, easy, enjoyable and heart-breaking. It was a powerful experience, and I'm glad it happened.


But, if you want to hear more detail from me about my first love, I'm willing to give all the details of this first love. I know...a bit odd that I'm saying Amy Grant is my first love. A woman...20+ years older than I...whom I've never met. Obviously she's not my first love in the sense most people think of a first love. But, she's the first thing/person my mind rested on several times a day. Why? Well, a few reasons.

Reasons in a quick version:
1)She's the first singer I remember in my childhood. The whole "What do you want to be when you grow up?" question...my answer was "A singer like Amy Grant" when I was 5 years old.
2)She/her music was there with me through thick and thing...my dad's death, specifically and my mom's remarriage. She helped me cope and took me back to a more simple time.
3)She inspired me to pick up the guitar and write my own songs...life-saving for me.


More detailed version:

1)I was introduced to Amy Grant's music when I was...maybe 3? I used to say that my first encounter with her music was when I was 5 years old. My mom was pregnant with my brother and I distinctly remember my parents buying her "Heart in Motion" album/tape and saying to Kayleen and me, "We're going to have a little baby in our home soon. And this tape has a song about a baby." We were excited...there was a song about our little brother on that tape! My parents were referring to Amy's popular song "Baby Baby" which is about Amy Grant's daughter, Milly. Amy wrote it for/about Milly when Milly was only an infant. The record company made it into a love song. But, now that I think of it, I don't believe this was my first introduction to Amy, because my mom had Amy's "Collection" tape that I can remember listening to prior to "Baby Baby." Anyway...I loved Amy back then because I wanted to be a singer, and I loved pretending I was her. I'd stand on the coffee table with a hair brush and just belt it out. Kayleen and I would request her (or Wilson Phillips...or New Kids on the Block) on every car ride. That's when the love began.

2)I took a small break from Amy when my dad got sick with cancer. We moved to the States, and our routine was no longer normal. I don't remember spending so much time with music as I do spending time in the hospital. After my dad died, I found our old "Heart in Motion" tape and began listening to it...to calm me and take me back to the days of simplicity. Amy's voice and songs took my mind back to Germany and my healthy dad. This is when I created an attachment to Amy. She represented something special to me. She was more than a singer at that point. She was with me through thick and thing...before, during and after all the hardship. She was my friend and her voice and words brought me comfort.

3) When my mom got remarried I felt very lost. I'm not going to go into that with too much depth...we'll just say I needed an outlet. Because of my love for Amy Grant, I decided I wanted to try to be like her. She had once said, "I believe everyone can write a song, they're just intimidated by the idea, so they never try." So, I decided I wanted to try. When I was 7 I had announced to my parents I wanted to learn the guitar. They didn't take me seriously. Then, in the 7th grade (after my Mom's remarriage) I was talking with some kids in my math class, telling them that one day I would save up enough money to buy a guitar and write songs. My teacher overheard me talking about this desire and called me up to her desk. She said, "Crystal, I have a proposition for you. I have a guitar that I never play. I'm willing to loan it to you while you save up for your own...on one condition. You come and play me the things you're learning every once in a while." I was ecstatic. If it weren't for this teacher, I probably would have never had the motivation to actually save up for my own guitar. I borrowed her guitar for a year...learning Amy Grant songs and writing my own, while I saved up all my baby-sitting money for my own. Anyway, Amy was my inspiration...and because of my desire to play and write songs like she did, I had an outlet. I stayed sane. I developed my love of writing, singing...expression.

So, Amy Grant...her music, words, voice...is my first love. Her music saved my life in more ways than one.

First: Introduction

In case you missed the memo, I'll be doing this on occasion. This is the first of many to come.

So, hello. My name is Crystal Noel Perry, and I was born December 26, 1984 in Orem, Utah to Brian Calvin Perry and Carla Sue Billington Perry Hanchett. Yes, my mother has many names. I was the first of three children. My sister came along when I was two, and we moved to Frankfurt, Germany shortly thereafter. At the end of our stay in Germany, my brother joined us. My first memories were created in Germany. I actually remember it quite vividly. We moved back to the States when I was only 6, and yet, I can tell you specific details, specific times and specific faces of Germany. There's a reason for this. Germany was the only location my dad was healthy (in my memory).

So, who am I?
Here are some of my top likes.

Music. Definitely music.I'm obsessed with my guitar. It's probably my best friend right now. It's been my best friend for quite a while. I play until my fingers bleed. Okay...not really. Well, when I first started I did. You have to build up calluses. :) I took lessons, but most of what I play is self-taught, seeing as how I never wanted to practice what my teacher tried to teach me, and just wanted to play my own stuff. I wish I had paid more attention, because I'd be an excellent guitar player today instead of an average one. Oh well. Life goes on. I also took piano lessons and trumpet lessons as a child. The only instrument I played and enjoyed as much as the guitar was the baritone/euphonium. I switched to that instrument from the trumpet in order to have a better shot at making it into the Symphonic Band in high school. And I did. Good choice. Anywho...I love to write songs with my guitar. And sing. It calms me. It keeps me sane. It makes me happy.

Possibly a little too obsessed. This woman is my inspiration for a little bit of everything in my life. Two specific things...my writing and my singing. Expression. I would go into great detail right now about Amy Grant, but I think I'll save it for a later post. Let's just say, if it weren't for her, I may have never even picked up the guitar or pursued my writing passion. In fact, I'm 97% sure I wouldn't have.

I'm going to let this picture account for a few things. 1)The Gospel of Jesus Christ. 2)The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 3)The Book of Mormon 4)My mission in the Mississippi Jackson Mission. My mission was a defining moment in my life. I always go back to it. It's where I really learned what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is all about. It's where I read the Book of Mormon with more than one purpose of reading. It's where I grew to know my Savior. It's where I learned to really love people. It's where I began to understand what the impact Christ's Gospel can have on people. It's where I became very aware of my many weaknesses. Have I ever questioned the truthfulness of the Gospel? No, not the Gospel itself. Have I ever questioned The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Sure. Who wouldn't? A 14-year-old boy praying and seeing God and Jesus Christ? Interesting, to say the least. All I know is, I've received an answer. I know Christ restored the fullness of His Gospel on the earth by restoring His priesthood authority to the earth, just as he brought when He came before, and gave to his apostles. Any doubt, fear, misgivings or desire to wander since receiving this answer is due to my natural man not wanting to follow the truths I know in my heart.

I'm passionate about communication. It was my major in college. It's what I've centered myself around my entire life. I've always wanted to understand people...always wanted to know what people were thinking, why they liked certain things, why they acted the way they act. I've always wanted to understand people...put myself in their shoes. I've always wanted to talk things out, explain my thoughts and feelings in a clear way. I really like it when two people understand each other completely...not necessarily agreeing...but understanding. It makes me happy when effective communication is taking place. I like to talk. I like to write. I like to sing. I like journalism, t.v., facebook, blogging and cell phones. I love the millions of different ways people communicate. I love figuring it all out...understanding it all. I intend to further my education in the field of communication.

I also like my family. But I'm saving them for another post as well. So...while I'm sure I have many other interests, likes and faves...I'll keep it at this. That's me. :)

Just not buyin' it...

Can someone please explain this to me? When the heck did this little dude explode over the "music" scene? I mean...did you see the age of those fans in the first few seconds? Uh...

I seriously had no clue who he was until August, when I was flipping channels and saw some E Hollywood story on him. The way his colleagues were talking about him on the show, I thought it was some long time, amazing star...and then the camera shot to this little boy with helmet hair. Um...what?

This disturbs me for a couple of reasons. I'm only going to focus on one reason in this post, however. I could go off on his age, the fact that people who have been struggling for years to make it in the music industry are swallowed whole by a 12-year-old. Okay...15. Whatever. But, in this post, I want to talk about talent.

What is talent, and how does it relate to music?

Okay, I understand that I have a WIDE range of interests when it comes to music. Basically, my only request is that the artist has talent on some level. People could argue with me about what I regard as talent, I suppose. When it comes to a musical star, I expect at LEAST one of three talents, and by one I mean the star is extremely good at one, and pretty good at the other two.

1)Vocal performance 2)Songwriting ability 3)Entertainment---Please note, I'm mostly talking about singers...not strictly instrumental musicians.

Vocal: The singer blows the audience away by his/her voice. He/she brings tears to people's eyes with the right note (tears of joy, that is). The voice stands alone...as American Idol puts it, we could hear this person sing the dictionary and we'd be moved to tears. Celine Dion, Josh Groban, Whitney Houston...those are your typical, known powerhouse vocals. Here's Celine with the Canadian Tenors...without rehearsing together. I could have picked a more amazing performance by her, but I LOVE this one, and the song.



Songwriting: The words actually mean something and/or the melody (if without music) speaks to us as though words accompanied it. I understand that I have songs on my playlist that consist of meaningless lyrics...I'm specifically thinking of Adam Lambert's "Strut." But I'm not going to defend this, because he executes the other needed talents, and with some songs, executes the songwriting ability as well. Anyway, lyrics...deep feelings, emotion, thoughts put into lyrics. Feelings, emotion and thoughts we all have but can't put into words ourselves. Amazing example of this:



Michael McLean wrote this through the eyes of a mother who placed her baby for adoption...a mother who loved her child enough to give him a better life. What MAN knows this experience? No man, except Christ. But Michael captured it. TALENT.

Entertainment: Now this one really shouldn't stand on its own. It should be accompanied pretty closely by at least one of the other talents. But, if the star is pretty good at one of the other two, and amazing at entertaining, I believe they are still deserving of star status. Because after all, that is what we pay for...to be entertained. This person knows how to feel the music...get the crowd excited or really into what he/she is singing, delivers a performance that we fall in love with...he/she gets into character and makes us believe him/her.

I'm putting two different performances by this man...because he entertains according to the song.





I apologize for the quality of "Black or White." I couldn't get code for the good recording. Check it out on youtube if you so desire. All I can say is, no matter what the song...what the props...this man OWNS the stage he stands on.

So, again, can someone please explain Justin Bieber to me? I just don't feel he's deserving. Am I being heartless? Am I missing something?

New Song

This has nothing to do with my post below...but I finished a song and thought I'd share... It's the first take...so there's a few mess-ups. Especially the last verse when I sing "eye"...I kind of run out of breath. :) Okay, enough disclaimers...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Thanks for listening!

Writing is important

So, my blog has been more of a hassle than a joy in my life as of late. Mostly because I've been having this internal battle with myself that goes something like this:

"Do I have anything of value to actually put out into the Internet world? Why is what I think, believe, feel... important enough to share with anyone and everyone? My life is boring...why would people want to read it? Why am I writing if no one reads?"

"But...writing is important. People like to relate to other people. If I'm a writer I need to be writing daily, and a blog is a wonderful way to make that happen. I care to know what other people think, believe, feel...so maybe people feel the same way about me."

Also, I've been trying to keep my feelings in check the past couple of months. I've realized that I sometimes share things too freely. I don't let my thoughts and feelings develop. I just spout them off as soon as I feel them. This can be dangerous at times. So, every time I sit down to write something, I think for a long time, and then I usually end up walking away from the computer without typing a thing. Good and bad. Because, like I said, I think that if you love something, like writing, singing, knitting, sewing...you should take time to do it every day. And, because I call myself a writer, I believe I should force myself to write every day. So, here's what I will do.

Two of my cousins, Emilee and Jenn, have been following this pattern. It reminds me of those journal jars we would make in Young Women (church youth organization)...where you pull a little piece of paper with a subject written on it out of the jar every day and write about it in your journal. I really enjoy Emilee's and Jenn's blog posts, so I'm going to copy them in order to plow forward in my writing endeavors. This is the list:

Day 01 – Introduce yourself with pictures and words

Day 02 – Your first love


Day 03 – Your parents


Day 04 – What you ate today 


Day 05 – Your definition of love


Day 06 – Your day

Day 07 – Your best friend


Day 08 – A moment


Day 09 – Your beliefs

Day 10 – What you wore today 


Day 11 – Your siblings


Day 12 – What’s in your bag


Day 13 – This week

Day 14 – What you wore today

Day 15 – Your dreams

Day 16 – Your first kiss

Day 17 – Your favorite memory


Day 18 – Your favorite birthday

Day 19 – Something you regret


Day 20 – This month


Day 21 – Another moment


Day 22 – Something that upsets you

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better


Day 24 – Something that makes you cry

Day 25 – A first

Day 26 – Your fears

Day 27 – Your favorite place


Day 28 – Something that you miss


Day 29 – Your aspirations


Day 30 – One last moment

I may start later today... :)

For all you mommy-bloggers out there... :)

My cousin, Amberly, posted this article on her blog. I loved it and thought I'd share it with all y'all. :)

http://mobile.salon.com/life/feature/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs/index.html

Number ONE lesson learned in 2010

You have to appreciate and love yourself before you can really appreciate and love someone else.

Missing her...

My niece, Gracie.



I took care of her during Spring semester. We spent a lot of quality time together. I had no idea you could create such a strong bond with such a little person...a person who can only communicate through broken words,hand motions and physical touch.

I love her and miss her...lots.