Quick Goodbye

The beauty of blogging and facebook is the fact that one can keep in touch with hundreds of people from elementary school, middle school, highschool and college, for years and years, when before, this wasn't the case. When I returned home from my mission I checked my facebook page and found that several people had discovered me in the internet world, and wanted to be my "friend." One of these individuals was Heidi Johnson. Heidi and I go back several years. Her mother, before Heidi was born, was my dad's highschool German teacher. As my dad's life came to an end, he found this teacher and contacted her in order to thank her for making a difference in his life while he was young. Through this contact we discoverd that she had a daughter my age, Heidi. From that point on, Heidi and her mother were in our lives. Pam Johnson, Heidi's mother, lent her helping hand to my parents when they were in need of a sitter or relief from the kids for just an hour or two during the trying times of my dad's cancer. They attended my dad's funeral, and Pam continued to help. Heidi and I became fast friends. We spent time together, swam together, went to the park together, had sleepovers and birthday parties together. We had a great childhood bond. As is often of childhood friends, we drifted apart in later highschool years, but never forgot the bond we created as children. When I came home from my mission, I noticed she had found me and I wrote to her, excited about renewing our friendship. Two days ago, I recieved a message from another highschool friend, notifying me that she had seen my message to Heidi back in August, and thought she should let me know that Heidi had died in a car accident earlier this year. I was completely shocked, and it's consumed my thoughts for the past two days. Now, I don't want to be misleading about this. I'm not grieving terribly over her loss as people often do over close close friends. But, it has sadddened me and hit me in such a strange and powerful way. The morning of her death was just and ordinary day for her, for her mother, for her boyfriend, for her one-year-old son she left behind. In a matter of minutes, however, ordinary was gone, along with Heidi and her boyfriend...a head on colission that killed her boyfriend instantly, and Hiedi minutes later. The other two victums lived. I never realized more than I do now, how quickly things can happen. I will continue to say "I love you" to those that I love, continue to serve whenever I can, spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ as long as I live and never leave an argument un-mended. I feel for Heidi's mother. She needs the gospel in her life and I plan on helping her find it.

Wishin' for the Mission...

So, I'd just like to announce to the world that I miss my mission too much. Can you miss something too much? Probably, when it prevents you from moving on in life. Well, I'm doing my best to move on...jump back into the fake world. But the mission was so wonderful. It just taught me so much and let me love so much...oh it was great. Ok, I know my first post was about the mish...so for this one I'm just going to post pics. I can't help it...this is what I've been thinking about for the past couple of days so here's a small peek inside my mind.

Our FAVORITE place to eat...we tried to eat there once a week. :)


Johnnie was the greatest investigator. This was taken at a baptism she attended with us. She passed away while I was still serving.

Sista Love was the greatest trainer ever. :)

Sista Jensen and I poppin' a squat on a hot HOT day. :)

Our coolest investigator in Ruston...Desiree.


Desiree's baptism day!




Ah, tender, Roach is wearing the BOPS shirt I got her. :)

Me and my "girl"...gotta love what the rain and humidity does to the hair. :)

My girl, Sista Wiechmann, and our favorite investigator in H'burg, Garren.


Sista Tuakoi joined us for a threesome...we had such a fun Christmas.




Chamberlain and I used the couch as a coat rack. :)

Eatin' pickles with kool-aid powder in the ghetto

Supposedly the first Latter-day Saint church in Mississippi...cute huh!

Pres. Heim and I strummin' a little guitar

S. Till snapped this picture when I wasn't looking...it's in Quitman, MS.

Helping out on a chicken farm...HARD, SWEATY work, let me tell ya!

Maureen and MaryAnn...Maureen ended up getting baptized right before I left Meridian.

So, Sista Draper and I set our cameras up to take a "candid" shot of us crossing this little bridge in Stonewall, MS...but then one of our cameras began to fall, so we started running to save it and it actually ended up being a real candid picture. :)


LeAnn, James and JaNiah Walden making the Quitman branch a little bit stronger. They're the greatest.

I just loved the ghetto street lights of Meridian

Oh how I love these sweet sweet memories...

8 Things I Like About You

So, this is my first time being tagged like this in a blog...I feel special. :) I find it interesting that it's 8 things...but hey, 8 is a cool number.

8 TV shows I like to watch: Most of mine are old shows...I watch the re-runs
1. Gilmore Girls
2. American Idol
3. Survivor Man (is that what it's called?)
4. Judging Amy
5. Dr. Quin Medicine Woman (remember that one? I LOVED that show!)
6. Charmed
7. I used to LOVE Friends, but eventually stopped cold turkey
8. I only really watch the top two of this list, so I can't make it to 8

8 things that happened yesterday:
1. Woke up in a hotel room
2. Ate Taco Time Chicken Fiesta Salad
3. Talked to Amy McCormick about Smitty
4. Watched a demonstration on how to be Santa's helper at the mall
5. Ate home made steak and potatoes with Bobby and Kayleen
6. Received a letter from Smitty
7. *Warning* If you're reading the Twilight series and haven't finnished yet, don't read this one...:) Figured out that Jacob imprints on Edward and Bella's baby thing before it even gets close to revealing that in the book (and got ticked, by the way...when I figured that out)
8. Scheduled a job interview with the Movie Theaters for Monday

8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Meeting the Savior
2. Getting a car
3. Seeing Smitty
4. Moving to Utah
5. Christmas
6. Seeing my dad again
7. getting married and starting a family
8. Loosing weight

8 things on my wish list:
1. Get married in the temple
2. To have some of my songs on the radio some day
3. Learn to play the cello
4. Get my own recording studio
5. That it would snow in the winter in Portland
6. That I could master humility and overcome pride completely
7. To go back to my mission
8. Be a mother

8 People I am Tagging: Do 8 people even read my blog?
1. Lacey Jean
2. Ashleigh
3. Paul Gregory
4. Donna
5. Crystal and Mitch
6. Um...oh, how about Noel...if you're reading this, that means you have to update your blog. :)
7. Landon
8. Sundy Lynn

I'm not gonna lie

Alright, so, I have a missionary. Ok ok, I know a lot of you already know a lot about it. And, I also know that a lot of "you" aren't really out there. You probably don't even read this. So, I'm not taking any big chances by making this post. But, if I am taking a chance, I don't care...I can't help it anymore. I have to talk about it. I just have to. I really really like him, and he's in the majority of my thoughts.

Yes, this missionary is serving in my mission right now and by "my" I mean the mission I served in. The MJM...the Mississippi Jackson Mission. That's right, we served there at the same time. Actually, we were in the MTC together. I was one of three missionaries in our MTC district to go to the MJM. He was one of the three as well. "He" is Elder Colby Smith. The other one was Elder Burton, who is now one of the A.P.s of the MJM. But anyway, back to Elder Smith, or Smitty as I like to call him. :) Well...never in my life had I even had the thought "hmmm...maybe I'll find a man on my mission...maybe I'll find my future husband." In fact, I didn't want to serve a mission. The thought of a mission scared the pee out of me. Seriously. I was in denial that it was probably my calling. But, finally, a dear dear friend/cousin convinced me that I needed to pray about serving. That I owed it to myself and the Lord to find out if this was something that I was pre-destined to do. Well, the thought of praying about it scared me, because I pretty much knew the answer, which is why I put it off. But, when I did, I said, "Heavenly Father, I'm not going to serve a mission. Are you ok with that?" Not even two seconds after I said those words, I knew they were wrong and I said, "Actually, I'm supposed to serve aren't I? I am." And when I said that, I felt like I was floating. So, from that point on, I wanted to serve...for the Lord. I knew that the Lord wanted me to, and that's why I did it. And that was the ONLY reason I did it. The Lord wanted me to. So...to say I ever thought I'd find a man on my mission is stupid. It never crossed my mind. A mission is WAY TOO hard of an experience to just do it because I might find a man. Now, some may have that thought...and more power to them. But it just wasn't my case. With that said, I did find a man. Well, to say I "found" a man leads one to believe I was looking...so I suppose the situation presented itself. Ok, enough of that. We met in the MTC and became good friends. I mean, yeah. We were both missionaries. There were only three of us going to the same mission. We all became friends. There might have been something deeper back then inside me, but I pushed it aside because I was at the very beginning of what then seemed like a "never-ending" journey. Well, we went our separate ways in the mission, occationally meeting up for zone conferences and what not. But, we never wrote. So, we'd only hear about eachother if other missionaries would talk about us.

And THEN...my second to last transfer he was called to be my district leader. NICE. Yeah right...it wasn't that nice. I was already getting a little trunky if you want to know the truth. I had just killed someone off ( hope everyone understands mission lingo...trunky:ready to go home...Kill:you're someone's last comp. and sending him/her home.) Ok, so I had just killed someone off, and was in the process of killing another person off, only to be left in the same area for 7 1/2 months...and then die myself. And then they put me with Smitty my second to last trasnfer? Right. I constantly had this internal battle of "Stop thinking of him like that. You're not done with your mission yet...but he's so great, I like him lots....stop you fool, you're a missionary...you should be ashamed of yourself." So, after struggling with this for a while, I finally brought it up with the President. And guess what...he didn't care! Of course, he didn't want me to act on it, but he really didn't care. In fact, I think he found it amusing. :) It was fine though...cuz the next trasnfer Smitty became zone leader and was trasnferred. And supposedly, President and his wife tease Smitty about it whenever they see him (cuz I guess people know now.)

Wow, this is turning into a novel. Anyway...come to find out, he likes me a lot too. I always had a hunch, but we, of course, never talked about it. When I got home I wrote him...and now we write all of the time, and right now I'm expecting a tape from him that I should have gotten by now because he sent it on Monday. Anyway, I got a letter from him today...and yeah, it was TENDER. I love this experience. Who knows what will happen from it. Either it will work out, or it won't. I obviously hope it does, but what I do know right now is that I'm having lots of fun with it. There's no doubt about that. Am I crazy? Stupid? A little girl? Maybe. But I don't care. It feels great. :)


Sweatin' it up on the chicken farm...why is my mouth open that wide?


My MTC homies...Smitty's on the left (looking at the pic) and E. Burton's on the right

Blended Family Home Evening

Being a part of a blended family is hard. It really is. I'm sure being a part of a family that is not blended has its own ups and downs, challenges and heart breaks. And, if I'm blessed with the opportunity to marry, I'll know what those are one day with my future family. But, since the age of 11, I have been a part of a blended family, and this is what I know. Taking two individual families, with several different unique personalities, and pushing them together to create a new, law formed, family is quite the challenging experience. Feelings get hurt much easier, grudges are held much longer and misunderstandings are bent even farther out of shape than imaginable. Why? Because blood runs deep...but in a blended family, there is no blood. Last night, however, our family gathered together for the first of many monthly Family Home Evenings. And, as one of my nephews bowed his head and offered the opening prayer, tears began to form in my eyes. I love these brothers and sisters that I've acquired. I really do. What are families for? On my mission I came to the realization that this life is a time to prepare to meet God, our chance to make it back to Him. (I know it tells me that in the scriptures...but I'm slow, it took a mission to make it really sink in.):) And so...our job on earth is to do all we can to not only make it back to Him ourselves, but to help eachother there as well. And that, my friends, is what families are for. We have to help eachother make it back. So...what if we aren't blood? Who the heck cares? God sure doesn't, because we're ALL His children. And for whatever reason, He gave me the chance to build bonds and relationships with 6 more beautiful people, plus their spouses and children, who I get to claim as my family. Is it easy? Heck no, but nothing is. Where's the fun in easy?


Me, Crystal and Kayleen...yes, there are two Crystals in the family. :)


Kayleen and our nephew, Luke


Katy, Jesika and me


More of the fam at FHE: Crystal, Penny, Rachael, Jon, Ellie and Jesika-I LOVE the way they spell her name. SO cute. :)


Chuck and Mom leading us in "The wise man built his house upon the rock" or whatever it's called


Bobby, Kayleen and Kevin


Ben!

September 30th

So, now that it's 12:03 a.m. and will probably even be later by the time I've posted this, it's no longer September 30th. But, as I was sitting here, thinking about what today is (before it turned 12:00 a.m.) I realized that I hadn't delivered flowers to a grave in honor of my dad...for the first time since I graduated highschool. September 30th takes my mind to things beyond this life. Today (or yesterday...although I don't count it a new day until I've gone to bed) it has been exactly 15 years since my dad, Brian Perry, passed away, in the flesh, from a brain tumor. I've always been a home body, with my mother being my best friend, therefore I was extremely homesick when I first left home for college 5 years ago. I was especially sad about being away from my family on September 30th. So, I decided from that point on that I would take flowers to a grave, no matter where I was, in honor of my dad. Well, I've done it the past 5 years, each time being some place different. But this year, I am home, and it is the first year I did not put flowers on a grave on September 30th. So, instead, I thought I'd post something on this here blog. :) Because it is "a look inside my mind" and this is what is on my mind.



Dad, Mom and baby me :)



Dad and baby Kayleen



Dad and baby Kevin



Last Christmas together: Me, Kayleen, Kevin, Dad



I'm thankful for the memories. I'm thankful for the pictures. I'm thankful for the videos. I'm thankful I received his sense of humor. But most importantly, I'm thankful for the knowledge that his spirit still lives, and he will one day live in the flesh, because the Savior lives.